The right way and wrong way to market something.

No I'm not a professional, this is just an opinion piece.   There, got the disclaimer out of the way.  The wrong way to advertise something is to make some bizarre commercial that makes no sense whatsoever.  The latest Levi ads do this.  They have some guy reading a poem that has the line "Pioneers O Pioneers" while Twenty-something models run around in black and white prancing in jeans and barefoot....At first you don't see that they are wearing jeans....actually they are all prancing around too much and there's fireworks and all kinds of stupid going on.   Honestly, fire the idiot that came up with that one.  Could someone please tell me what's with Quiznos obssession with weird ass, creepy, nightmare inducing commercials?  Seriously folks what gives?  First you have some critter that looks like a hamster with Human eyes and a hat screaming in some high pitched voice....have you seen this?  It looks like a 5 year old cut out a picture of a hamster then cut out the eyes of a person in a picture and glued them on the hamster.  It looks like Picasso on acid.  It's creepy and disturbing.  The two things I want going through my mind when I go get a sandwich.  Then they had Bob the talking Baby.  Number 1, Bob wasn't that cute of a baby.....on the flip side, the E Trade Baby that talks about making stock trades etc...that's funny.....number 2 Bob had a voice like your pedophile Uncle Ralph.  Yet again creepy and disturbing.  Then they had one with an oven talking to a guy.  Not creepy, just stupid really.  Their new one I think is the worst to date.  You have an off key tune of "three blind mice" being sung by high pitched gravelly voices that are coming from kittens dressed in costumes holding signs.   It's like a Friskees induced nightmare.  But yet through all of these failures in advertising they have yet to wonder why they are always behind Subway.  Gee, don't know.  Could it be your commercials are too damn disturbing and weird for anyone to focus on your product....morons.   Where was it written that all toddlers in commercials have to talk like they have speech impediments?  These little kids in band aid commercials all talk like Elmer Fudd..."My cut is all bwettew".......not cute but annoying.   The ones I can't stand is when they take a modern song and add their own lyrics to it that are absolutely horrible or change the style of the song all together.  EMF did a song called "Unbelievable".  Main chorus "you're unbelievable".  Kraft was pitching a crumbled cheese product and used the song and the chorus was "you're crumbelievable".......Kraft, go die.   Or Lincoln using the Blue Oyster Cult song "Burning for You" but the music has changed and they have a chorous of women singing it.   No no no.   BOC is not lounge music. 

Now the ones that get it right.  Geico.  I will probably never buy Geico insurance, but their commercials are funny.  The Gecko, really never gets old.  Their new ones with the ultra serious guy with the deep voice....funny.  Especially the new one with the little pig going "Whee whee" all the way home.  Kills me everytime.   Even Subway's ads, be they not that funny or memorable, pitch their product and entertain while doing it.  Old Navy's Modlequines are amusing.  I honestly will never buy anything at Old Navy (their clothes are too cheaply made and not styled for a 45 year old guy....) but their commercials work.  Jack in the Box has some of the best.  Burger King, not so much.  I'm not sure how a creepy, stalking king works but apparently they run with it, and often.   The one commercials I will always listen to on the radio: Bud Light's Real Men of Genuis.   That is some seriously funny crap.  I don't like Bud Light, but their commercials kill me.   The way I look at it, if I have to sit through your ads, entertain me.  Don't suck 30 seconds of my life away, entertain me for those 30 seconds. 

The Networks often advertise for their upcoming shows...good on them it's often hard to keep up with what's on.   The Network that does it the best though, USA.  Hands down some of the funniest.  They usually have characters from one of their shows in a spot with chracters from another show.   The result is usually quite funny.   One that comes to mind:  Neal Caffrey from the show White Collar is sitting at a restaurant with The Big Show, a very large wreslter.  They are sharing a bottle of wine and the Big Show is talking in an upper class manner discussing his opinions of the taste of the wine, etc like a wine expert would.  Neal asks "you're talking about the '97 right"  The Big show responds with "no the 96".  They have a big upper class manly chuckle about it then the Big Show puts his hand down on the table and it falls over. He gets a sheepish grin on his face saying "happens to me all the time".   The other one that's good is you have Michael and Fiona of Burn notice in a restaurant and Fiona is going through her purse looking for something and pulls out a gun and sets it on the table.  Peter Burke, FBI Agent from White Collar walks by and says "do you have a permit for that gun?".  Fiona covers it with a napkin saying "what gun" and as Peter reaches for it she sets her purse on top of it and a grenade rolls out.    Goofy, but an interesting way of advertising their stable of shows.

Bwa ha ha ha ha......

So it looks like the term "Endorsed by the (insert state here) Tea Party" has become the kiss of death for candidates now.  I love it!!!  It also appears that these Tea Bagger candidates are doing a find job of burying their careers all by their little lonesomes.  Keep it up Tea Baggers.....the House and Senate will stay in just the way they are.