Poor, poor pitiful us...

What's happened to us?  We've become a Greedy, anti-social Society haven't we.  I look at the next Generation that supposed to run things and it scares me.  The local news channel had a report on Teens texting while driving.  It's bad enough when people talk on their cellphones without a headset and drive erratically, but now we have people taking their hands off the wheel to type in a message to someone else on their cellphone.....a device that is...wait for it....A PHONE!!!!  You know, a device that you can dial a sequence of numbers in that will connect to another device like it so you can SPEAK to a person on the other end.  WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!  Why the mass texting all the time????  I just don't get it?  I've told Liv that before.  She is texting someone on her phone and I've said "you do know you can call that person on your phone right?  It does operate as a phone and all...."  I am of the belief that talking on a phone while driving without the use of a hands free device is dangerous.  Texting is just stupid while driving.  That's as bad as the idiots that read the newspaper while driving....every seen these guys????  When you use a hands free device for your phone calls, the phone becomes like the radio, something in your peripheral that you don't focus all your attention on.  When you are holding it up to your ear to talk, it distracts you because you don't want to drop it or you don't get it placed right and you can hear, etc etc....see you aren't paying attention to the road at that point.  Cell phones are great, but they have made us anti-social.  There are instances where a bunch of people get together for a night out or whatever, but they ignore each other and start texting other people that aren't there.  WTF??????  How rude is that shit?  You are out with these folks to socialize, and you end up not talking to each other but to other people.  Why didn't you just invite those other people?   Or better yet, why didn't you just go out with those other people.  It's obvious you have nothing in common with the folks you are with, so why waste everyone's time?  The one's that get me are these couples that go out to restaurants to eat, but bring a book or newspaper and read while eating.  How boring is your relationship that you have to bring a newspaper when you take your girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband out to dinner?  Even couples that have been together for years, there is still something to talk about for crying out loud.  Cathy and I always have conversations while at dinner.  It's just plain rude to go out to a restaurant and not enjoy the company of the person you are with.   On Sunday mornings Cat and I will wake up and get coffee and go sit outside and read.  A. We are not awake yet. B. It's relaxing. C. We often stop to chat while out there.  It's different. It's a weekly ritual and we are doing it at our house.  I have noticed that this new Generation has no respect and no group skills.  I know when I was a punk ass teen we farted around at the mall all the time, but we didn't do anything destructive or asinine that got us kicked out of places.  Yeah we went into stores and stayed there for hours looking at crap and never bought anything, or went to toy stores and messed with crap.  We never got kicked out though.  There is this same pack o' teens that walks around the mall near my house that has pretty much been kicked out of every store there.  They walk into Books a Million, shouting like idiots, running through the aisles then leave.  Dumb asses.  No respect.  Honestly I hope these kids change when they get older, but I somehow don't think it's going to happen.  When this pampered, coddled, instant gratification, anti-social, no respect Generation grows up (there's a relative term) and takes charge I seriously cringe for the future of this country.  Hell I'm already cringing but that's because of the Moron running it now.  I can see it now.  All office communication will be done by Instant messenger or text.  There will be no phones on desks, everyone will have a Cell Phone but they will have storage issues with number and such because of all the MP3's they have downloaded to it.  There will be no saying good morning as you walk down the hall to the coffee maker because everyone will have an ipod shoved in their ears lost in their own little world.  Meetings will become a thing of the past because no one has the attention span to be there.  They will just text the meeting to each other.....while listen to Chevelle or some crappy band like that of course.  There will be no more training sessions, the training videos will be posted to YouTube with lame ass comments under them.  They will of course have to have some kind of loud soundtrack for anyone to even pay attention.   I can picture it now.  

 

Now for our Greed.   The Day after Thanksgiving (a holiday of being thankful for Family and good health, etc) is usually called Black Friday.  Yep, the retail establishments of the world have dubbed it that because that is the day (supposedly.....I think that enough people were told that it was the busiest shopping day so like the sheeple they are they had to go) that most stores go in the Black because of everyone Christmas shopping on that day.  The stores are opening earlier and earlier every year.  A few stores opened at 4 am.......4 AM??????  Who the Hell goes to a store to shop at 4 am.  What, so you can get a snowglobe or some stupid shit like that?  C'mon.  Oh it's for that 29 DVD player (usually a piece of shit brand and player) just to trick you into getting in the store.  The people that go out that early are rude too.  Aggressive Assholes that shove and push just to be the first in the store.  What the Hell is wrong with these people????  Animals.  Trust me morons, the stores will have bargains all season long.  Do you seriously think they are just going to have a sale on that day????  Please.  They want to make money all season long, not just in one day.  I've noticed too, that these stores have "Preview Days".  What the Hell is that?  You are going to the store the day before the sale to preview the things that will be on sale?????????  How stupid is this.  "Hey Honey, we drove an hour to the mall to look at the pants we are going to come buy on sale tomorrow."  Wow...that was dumb wasn't it.  I've been told that on these Preview days the item is marked down to one level, then marked down further the next day.  Still stupid.  Hey let's go see what the price of the pants are at 30% off so we can see how much we can save tomorrow at 50% off......  How about doing some math dumb ass.  Take 50% of the regular price and that's going to be the better sale price.  Save yourself some gas and an hours drive.  This is also the only time you see Kay and Zales Jewelers commercials (besides Valentine's Day.....or should I say confectioner/florist/jeweler conspiracy day.....).  The tell you "This diamond pendant that's only 399 is the PERFECT gift."  Oh shit!!!  I need to spend 400 on one gift.  Hell I got that lying around...no problem.  The commercials also give you the impression that you are a "Big Loser" if you don't get her some crappy mall chain jewelry store jewelry.  Shit I'd go to Shane Company before Zales or anywhere else.  This is also the year that the High Priced Luxury cars (Lexus, Lincoln) have their sales.  Hey buy your Wife a 50,000 car.  She will love you for it and if you don't YOU'RE A LOSER.  Yep, put yourself in hock buying expensive shit you wouldn't buy any other time of the year.  After all, that's what Christmas is about isn't it???? 

Pantherzilla

What a wonderfully festive Holiday idea. Those little Victorian figures and houses you can buy to create a Christmas scene in your household. Like most folks, we used the soft and fluffy "fake snow" that you can buy as a base to put our village on. The happy Victorians were going about their business when SHE came.....yes PANTHERZILLA!!!!! People were stomped, lamp posts knocked over and when Pantherzilla was done she curled up into a nice, warm ball and went to sleep. So now we need to rethink the fluffy cotton base as obviously it's just too tempting for a cat to ignore. Gotta love our pets.......

Happy Thanksgiving!

In the 1600's a group of Englishmen left their Country looking for a place to practice Religious freedom. They landed on Plymouth Rock and started a Colony. The befriended the local Indian Tribes who shared their harvest with the Pilgrims. Thus we have Thanksgiving. Of course afterwards (probably after dessert) the Pilgrims took all of the Indians land and invited more White Folk and thus the United States was born. All snarkiness aside, give thanks today for Family, Health and the fact that we live in a Country where smart asses like me can write crap like this.....in other words, give thanks for your Freedom......

Also be sure not to eat too much (yeah right) and get your food coma spot picked out ahead of time (mine is one end of my Mother-in-Law's comfy couch in her Den).

Why are we wasting tax payer money?

So Bonds has been indicted on four counts of perjury.  Apparently they have "mountains of evidence" yet it took Federal Prosecutors 4 years to indict him.  Hmmm why putting another Gazillionaire in jail (can you say Martha Stewart???) for lying is a MUCH better way of spending our tax dollars than say...oh I don't know....building a higher, stronger border fence or properly equipping our troops currently wasting away in Satan's Litterbox (Lord knows the Government is going to bring them home any time soon) or looking into the reason for the rape of the populous by the Oil Companies.....maybe Oil Companies should be on trial for lying and not an end of his career baseball player.  So what, Bonds took steroids.  So did Maguire, Sosa, Canseco, etc, etc....the list is miles long folks.  You put Bonds on trial, then you need to put the MLB's commissioners and powers that be on trial too because they LET IT HAPPEN!!!  These Greedy so and so's cancelled the World Series in 1994.  Over money.  Yep, players couldn't seem to live off of 2 million a year...Hell no!!!  Shit I can live off of 1 million a year.....even 500,000 a year even 100,000 a year.  The fans were pissed off and it took two seasons for them to come back.  1995 was a sad year for Baseball as the stadiums were all practically empty.  I know I didn't pay any attention to the sport then, nor did I pay attention in 1996.  It wasn't long after that players started hitting more and more homeruns.  Their strength seemed to increase exponentially.  We had the Maguire/Sosa home run race.  Baseball was making money again and these players started getting huge.  Steroids were the answer, but the commissioner like the money he was making so he ignored it.  Don't ask don't tell I guess.  Bonds and the others are guilty of being sell outs, greedy monkeys.  Bonds himself is guilty of being an arrogant ass.  Who are these people hurting that we need to spend tax payer money tracking them down?  I'm surprised they didn't get Ken Starr to head up the investigation.  He's just the kind of obsessed, I don't have a life, personal vendetta kind of guy that will get things done.  Oh wait, maybe not.  He couldn't get the Clintons for Whitewater so he made it his life's obsession to get Bubba for getting a hummer in the Oval Office. 

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became an Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
   
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
   
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
   
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
   
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
   
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
   
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
   
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
   
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
    
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
    
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
    
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
    
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
    
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
    
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
    
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
    
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
    
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
    
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
    
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
    
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
    
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
    
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
    
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
    
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
    
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
    
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
    
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
    
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
    
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
    
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
    
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
    
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
    
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
    
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
    
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
    
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
    
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
    
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
    
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
    
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
    
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
    
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
    
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
    
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
    
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
    
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
    
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
    
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
    
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
    
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
    
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
    
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
    
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
    
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
    
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
    
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
    
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
    
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
    
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
    
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
    
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
    
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
    
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
    
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
    
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
    
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
    
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
    
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
    
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
    
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
    
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
    
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
    
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
    
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
    
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
    
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
    
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
    
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
    
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
    
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
    
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
    
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
    
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
    
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
    
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
    
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
    
89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
    
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
    
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
    
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
    
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
    
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
    
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
    
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
    
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
    
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
    
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
    
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Cranking up the Rant Machine

It's been a bit, but because of the amount of crap in this world lately that makes me want to just smack the shit out of someone, it's become Rant Time.

 

In the category of "bubble wrapping and foam padding our children to death" comes the newest scare tactic being thrown at unsuspecting parents by the makers of Flu Shots and Purell: siblings shouldn't share things......Yep...the latest radio commercial I heard was a Mother talking to her son telling him he couldn't share things with his brother....Ummmmm aren't we supposed to teach kids to NOT BE SELFISH????????  When the kid asks if he can share a video game (in otherwords play a game with his brother) the Mother says, yes but don't share controllers.......... WTF!!!!!!  What is wrong with this world when these Pharmaceutical companies can get away with this kind of Orwellian advertising??????  OH NOES........your kid will get germs and die!!!!!  Teach your kid to wash his freaking hands and wipe his mouth and you won't have issues.  Not only have we gotten lazy in so many things (hey I'm guilty of some of those things) now we want our immune systems to get as lazy as our fat asses.  Let's force feed our immune system a certain variety of Flu virus so it gets used to that one....What's the long term effect of this folks???  Remember Penicillin???  In some third world countries they used Penicillin for every little thing...so much so that the viruses it used to kill started becoming immune to it.  Viruses are smart, adaptive things.  The more we make it easy on our immune systems, the less strength they have in fighting off the crap that makes us sick.  I personally don't believe in Flu Shots.  I believe in an active immune system.  It has fought all my colds and flu in the past, why shouldn't I rely on it now?  First sign of a cold, I take remedies that are designed to bolster your immune system; to make it fight harder, but not to tell it what to do.  Vitamin C, ZiCam(shit works great), Echinacea, Golden Seal.....these things are designed to make your immune system fight harder.  Kind of like a never ending supply line of ammo and food for your battle weary Immune system Soldiers.  I feel sorry for these poor parents.  Parenting is hard enough without these Pharmaceutical firms trying to scare them into making their children "germophobes"....Jesus what do we want to do to our Children, turn them into TV's Monk?????  My Step-Daughter Liv heard one of these commercials on TV and said "Sounds like a bunch of clean freaks to me..."

 

By now we know my feelings about the show "The View".  I used to have lots of respect for Barbara Walters but now I have zero.  First she let's Rosie "Big Mouth" O'Donnell use the show to further her personal battle with The Donald....don't get me wrong, he's as big an Ass as Rosie.....now she is encouraging the other hosts to badmouth Heather "I'm a Loon" Mills because the woman Sir Paul is currently dating is a friend of Baba WaWa....... Who greenlights this crap anyway? 

 

As you know from previous posts and probably from your own personal experiences, there is no such thing as Customer Service anymore.  You used to be able to blame Teenage workers who haven't been trained properly, but now it's everyone at any age.  When you come across some that does their job exceptionally well it is more of a pleasant surprise, when it used to be a given.  I don't understand when this happened, but it has been going on for some time now.  Cat and I used to like to go to a chain out here called "O'Charley's".  We refuse to go to the one in Lebanon anymore after the most heinous service meltdown I ever experienced.  We stopped in on a Tuesday for lunch and we both ordered Salads.  Our waitress took forever to come to our table, and it wasn't that busy.  When she came to the table, she took our drink order and because it had been so long we also had made our food choices and ordered at the same time.  We never saw her one time after that when she brought our drinks to the table where we then informed her there was no silverware.  She vanished.  This restaurant is known for their rolls which they bring endlessly to your table, and the other diners behind us were not given butter with theirs.  Their waiter was no where to be seen like ours.  You know your service is bad when other diners are passing each other butter.  Finally our meals came and of course I had nothing to eat it with.  I told the person bringing our food.....remember not our waitress....that not only did I not have anything to eat it with, but it being a salad it should have some dressing on it!!!  Silverware and dressing were brought as well as some lukewarm rolls (of course without any butter for them) and we ate our meal.  Didn't enjoy it as we were pissed at the lack of service.  We finished and waited.....and waited....then my more patient than I Wife got up and said "If they aren't going to bring us the damn check then I guess it's free!" and proceeded to walk over to the Manager and complain.....Loudly!!!!  The manager was appalled and said our meal was free.  Cathy said "Damn straight it's free because I'm not waiting any more for your useless help to bring us the check."  We made the mistake of going to the O'Charley's by our house.  We figured it's a new one and it shouldn't be bad.  We've gone a few times and it was okay.  This last time took the cake though.  We both ordered a 7 oz sirloin.  Now it's a small cut of steak understandably, but usually a good sized portion of meat that it satisfies your hunger.  What was brought out to us couldn't legally be called steak.  It was the size of small lumps of charcoal and tough as Hell.  We have written off O'Charley's.  I've told you about the horrible service at New York Pizza Deli, apparently we aren't the only one who has experienced it. Liv's friend Tara's folks have mentioned to us how bad it sucks and where every restaurant in that mall is packed, they are still not.  Not a good sign.  Chilis has become a no go for us as well, which is a shame as I love their Fajitas.   Every single time we've gone to the one in Cookeville, it's been the slowest experience in our lives.  We went to the one out in Lebanon near Home Depot.....slow as sin too.  While shopping in Hermitage a few months ago at Lowe's we walked next door to Chilis to see if that one was better.  It sucked.  There was a baseball team in there with their parents.....let me pause for a second here.  Who takes their little league team to freaking CHILI's after a ball game???????  What happened to Pizza?????? Or Chuck E Cheese?????........and these kids were all over the place!!!!  Standing in the aisles, blocking access to the bathrooms (one can only say EXCUSE ME so loud and still get ignored without getting pissed) which I proceeded to shoulder out of my way because I had to use said facilities.  When I got back, Cat is sitting in the booth looking pissed.  Here's some stupid kid blocking my way into my booth.  I proceeded to tell him to sit his ass down that aisles were for walking not standing.  The parents were just as bad.  I equally shouldered parents as well as kids out of the way to the bathroom.  It was loud (more so than usual) and folks were standing in the aisles shooting the shit with each other with no mind to the fact that there are other diners IN THE FREAKING RESTAURANT and you are ruining their dining experience.  I looked at Cathy and said "Let's go to Applebee's" as loud as I could.  She beat me out the door.  Our waitress looked at us saying "anything the matter?"  I said "control your diners" which she then proceeded to defend with the statement "oh their not that bad and they are leaving soon..."  I looked at her and said "since your restaurant chain has the slowest service in the world no matter where I go and since you'd rather defend rude, obnoxious diners and condone their behavior my Wife and I will no longer frequent your restaurants."   At the Applebee's (the other side of the parking lot) we have gotten nothing but excellent service.  It's the diners that have been annoying, but not bad you can't ignore them.   Here's my take on a Restaurant.  I go in with the tip set at 15%.  I understand that it is essentially a sucky job and they can get away with paying you slave wages because you get "tips".  I personally think this is crap.  A waiter should be paid around 7 to 8 dollars an hour plus the tips.  Out here that would be good money.  My Sister works at Nordies in SF and makes 14 an hour plus a 4% commission.  She sells Bobbi Brown Cosmetics (I guess he needed to invent a line of cosmetics so Whitney can cover up the bruises........I know that was bad).  Not bad money really.  Most restaurants have free drink refills now.  So, this is what I expect out of a waiter.  Give us a minute or so to get settled at the table/booth then come over and take drink/appetizer orders.  Don't be pushy.  Ask if we need some more time to look at the menu or do we know what we want.  If we are ready, take our food order Ladies first (hey we still live in a somewhat polite society).  If they don't start with Ladies First I will usually say "Honey go ahead" or "Take the ladies orders first then get me".  Said waiter still is at 15% tip at this point since not everyone has a chivalrous streak and the ladies first thing is my personal feeling.  If you notice my drink is empty....get me another....I drink alot when I'm at a restaurant....love my never ending Diet Coke.  If I have to remind you to do so, you border on a few percentage points dropping off the tip.  If you never do or forget to do so, you are down to 10%.  Hey we pay almost 3 bucks for drinks at most restaurants, I want my refills and they better keep coming because I'm drinking 3 bucks worth of soda fountain syrup soda.  At Logan's once we had this guy waiter who was on the ball.  I would literally drink my last strawful of soda when he'd come by and snatch the glass off the table and return with a full one.  Dude got 20% tip that day.  If you bring rolls, etc with the meal, ask if we'd like more.  If you don't bring out our food (because alot of these places work on whoever is near the food when it's ready gets it out so it's not cold) at least notice our order has come up and come by to see if everything is right.  Red Robin's does this all the time.....they Rock.  Heck they messed up and didn't give me Garlic Fries but gave me Onion rings instead.  When I mentioned this they said "heck will bring you out some garlic fries no problem".  I had onion rings and a small plate of garlic fries.  They rock.  When you bring me my food it better be the temperature it's supposed to be.  Salad with grilled chicken on it should be: lettuce cold, chicken hot.  Simple.  See I don't ask for much.  I just ask that you do your job with a smile and don't bitch to me about it or take our the fact that your job sucks on me.  It's not my fault.  Free refills are that, refills.  Refill means keep it coming no matter how quickly I drink it.  The tip you receive from me is a courtesy; a reward for good service.  It's not a guarantee, nor should it be expected if you didn't do shit for me the whole time I was there.  I've left no tip on several occasions where our waiter was downright lazy and had everyone else do crap for them.  Another thing that has happened a time or two is I've bought something at a store but it didn't come home with me.  The reason, I thought the bags I had to grab myself off of the checkout stand were all there was.  Have you had this happen to you?  Clerks don't hand you your bags anymore.  They bag your crap and sometimes leave it hanging on the rack of bags.  You literally have to reach over the counter sometimes to get your damn bag of merchandise???????  Last night we bought a few large things at Target and a couple of small items.  I of course had to retrieve my own bags and put them in the basket.  Seeing the huge bag the large items were put in I naturally assumed (yeah I know don't assume) that the small items were in there.  Nope.  One didn't get scanned and the other was put in a bag but never handed to me.  Must be one of those people raised in the "don't touch someone else or you will get germs" households.  I went back to the store and the clerk said that the item I went and got that I was charged for but didn't get was the wrong barcode.  She talked to a manager guy and I was sent to Customer Service (yeah right).  She told the CS guy that I had "left" my item behind and that I got another one that didn't have a matching barcode.  I let her tell her little fib and when I got over to CS I said "First off, I didn't leave it, she never put it in a bag or if she did she never handed it to me.  Second this is the same item I purchased and I have no idea why the codes don't match."  He actually lived up to the definition of Customer Service and understood and rang me up no problem and got me on my way.  At Kroger once I forgot to grab a bag of stuff and the clerk actually realized I missed it and ran out after me.  Now that's service!!!! 

OOOPS!!!! Someone's been smoking too much Crack!

Click on the blog title to go to the full article at SFGate.com

SF Bay is known for it's fog......this is a given, but with the latest in High-Tech navigation instruments, and a shipping lane that is 2,200+ feet wide it shouldn't be that hard to sail a 131 foot wide ship under the Bay Bridge. OOOps. The pilot of the container ship somehow managed to navigate said ship into one of the Bridges cement support platforms gashing the side of his ship and releasing 58,000 gallons of heavy Bunker Diesel-Oil into San Francisco Bay. Nice!!!! Dumb ass. This is the first ship to hit the bridge in it's 70 year history. So Pilots back in the 1940's who had to used their natural senses and primitive instruments managed to not hit the damn thing but some clown in 2007 who has been a pilot in the Bay Area shipping lanes for 25 years manages to. I think this dude needs a vacation or to stop hitting the crack pipe!!

Tennessee: Year Two.

It is time again for my annual report on life as a California transplant living in Tennessee.  As I've mentioned previously I lived the first couple of months out here in Algood (which might as well just call itself Cookeville because besides having a Wal-Mart, a McDonalds and a Bad Chinese restaurant everything else you need is in Cookeville) then moved to Mount Juliet.  What has changed since last year:

A. Cathy is now a Real Estate Agent and I'm so proud of her for her perseverance.  Good job Sweetheart!!

B. Olivia has a BFF named Tara.  Last time I believe I wrote about a girl named Erica who we thought would end up as bad news if Liv hung around her anymore.  Boy we were right on that one.  Thank God Olivia is as intelligent as she is and can peg bad news people on her own.  Tara is a great kid and a great friend to Liv.  She has a few more friends now, and is a lot more happier at school.  It takes Liv a bit to make friends but she makes good ones when she does.  She's also 13 now and a typical Teenage girl.  Not sure what happened to our little Tomboy, she became femine overnight!

C. People out here still have no idea how to drive; nothing's going to change that however so I will just be road rage boy and salute them with one finger and rant and rave at them.  Hey, it makes me feel better. 

D. The Providence Marketplace mall is pretty much finished.  There are a crapload of stores and restaurants now, with more coming.  They are also building two new hotels....gotta love progress.

E. Cathy and I are working on getting a Farmer's Market going next fall.  Our Supervisor Jim Bradshaw loved the idea and someone from Providence Marketplace's Marketing Department loved it as well.  We need to get together with her to discuss it.  I already have two Music acts that I know would love to play. 

F. They built a new off ramp which is nice because if the Freeway gets backed up, you can take that one and still get home.

G. My Airsoft Team has had to put two members on Inactive Status, then we kicked one of those members off the team.  The guy just wasn't a Team Player, the other guy is just in Financial straights and needs to focus on getting out of debt.  Airsoft put him in debt because he's one of those guys without self-control.  If you don't have the money to buy a new gun, don't buy a new gun.

H. Did I mention I have a Boy Crazy Teenager living in my home now?  All boys will be shot on sight. 

I. January 22, 2008 will be my 4 year Wedding Anniversary.  I'm happier every year.  I chose wisely this time.

J. We have two Cats now....well we had two Cats, but Pumpkin has decided to go roaming and hasn't been back.  It's going on two months.  I hope he's just shacking up with someone else.  You know Tom Cats who are mostly outdoor cats...they get that Walkabout bug under their skin and they are gone.  We still have Panther who is getting more vocal the older she gets.  Demanding little thing sometimes.

K. Kevin has had the same Girlfriend for awhile now.  Sara, and she's great!  She's got him interested in College, and he's in the middle of his first Semester at Tennessee Tech University.  He's an Art major of course.  He also just turned 20.

L. Amanda has had the same job for awhile now at Kohl's.  She's loving it because she works in the credit office and gets to do other things than stand around and scan clothes and take credit cards at a register.  She has a great Fiancé named Drew.  Jay loves him and so does Amanda.  A very generous guy.  I think we'll keep him. 

M. Speaking of Jay.....My Grandson and I are getting very close now.  He's 4 and all boy.  We had a Nanu and Jay day a couple of months ago and had big fun.

N. Still digging on the pond....probably will be digging on it forever.  Have the liner and pumps and all that, just need to dig trenches to run electrical and finish digging the pond so it's deep enough that fish will survive the Winter.  I've taken to calling it the "Shallow depression that will one day be a pond". 

O. This year our summer was horrendous.  We've had drought conditions for since June so there was no digging in the pond anyway because the ground was too damn hard. 

P. Put up some braces off of an existing post so I could hang a hammock in our front yard.  I've taken many a nap on that thing.

Q. We built a compost bin where the garden that wouldn't grow was.  A convenient way to get rid of the leaves our trees love to regurgitate on the lawn.

R. I've discovered the Religious Right is trying to kill Halloween......we had 0 Trick or Treaters this year.  I've already written at great length about this.

S. We took a Family vacation finally!!!  We went to Gatlinburg (Like Tahoe) and had a great time.  Cathy and I intend to go up there in Spring when Liv is at her Dad's for Spring Break to have the Honeymoon we never had.  (My reception was at Fresh Choice in Redwood City and my wedding night was spent in Chuck E Cheese). 

T.  I mentioned Teenager in the house right???

 

That's the report for this year.  Hopefully next year I can report that the pond is up and running........don't hold your breath.

Pardon me, I feel a Rant coming on....

The Death of Halloween I will call this one.  Remember bugging your Parents to buy that cheesy one piece costume with the easily tearable mask?  Remember those?  It was a costume made of some kind of vinyl (and highly flammable) material that had an opening in the back and strings that you tied close behind your neck.  You stepped into this "costume" and your Mom tied it for you.  Then you put your mask on.  It was a face covering mask only.  Made of plastic with Eye holes, nostril holes and a mouth slit (you would usually stand in front of the mirror poking the tip of your tongue through the mouth slit because it was damn funny.) and a rubber band stapled to the sides that kept it on your face.   Oh yeah!  Then you add to the top of that a coat because it was a bit windy outside and your Mom didn't want you to get sick.  You got a pillow case from the linen closet and you and your Parent(s) went walking up and down the neighborhood, knocking on all the neighbor's doors saying "Trick or Treat" and you got candy.  Or you got the cheap neighbors who put handfuls of pennies in your bag, or the ones that would put a card with a bible verse in there.  Oh and you couldn't eat your candy until you got home because of all the "freaks" who might put razor blades and pills in them to hurt you.  Most of the houses had some kind of decoration; cardboard, brightly painted little window hangings or a skeleton or what have you put up.  Then there were the neighbor that outdid themselves every year.  Black lights and fog machines (back then usually a bucket of water with dry ice in it) and dummies on the porch with scary masks on.  God I loved Halloween; still do.  As an adult I was invited to many a party.  One couple we used to do Ren Faire with had a Halloween Party every year.  There was usually a theme on costumes (the Summer of Love party was great fun).  We played games like "Pin the Toupee on William Shatner" and one year it was "Pin the Murder on OJ" with the board being a picture of OJ from the tabloids with his hand raised waving and the "tail" was photocopies of a knife.  The person that got the knife closest to OJ's hand won.   The last time I really had fun at Halloween was 1995.   I lived in a house with a now Ex friend and his Hippy Mom.  We had a long driveway that went to a detached garage.  We put up a rope between our house and our neighbors (they gave us permission) and placed two blue plastic tarps over it blocking the driveway from view.  I was the MC, in my black Cloak and skull mask.  The gist; you had to navigate your way through the Tunnel of Terror and get to the stool at the end with a bowl of candy on it.  Once inside the Tunnel there were four chairs with four "dummies" sitting in them.  Two of the dummies were friends in masks, the other two actual dummies(we changed it up every once in awhile).  Meanwhile the Ex Friend was on the roof with a large rubber spider on the end of a fishing pole bouncing it off of people's heads.  Another friend was hiding behind a garbage can jumping out at folks.  People were screaming like crazy, and they kept coming back for more!!!!  I think we finally shut down at about 11 pm.  Man that was fun!!!  Okay, enough walking down Memory lane....it's RANT TIME!!!!

 

Over the years I've noticed a distinct lack of kids coming to the door.  It's like their parents don't want to be bothered, or are so scared of those "freaks" that they are falling into the old habits of "Bubble wrapping and foam padding" their kids so they don't get hurt.  Ah yes, the great "Sheltering" of the last decade or so.  What is the matter with people????  Yes, there are more freaks in the world than there were back when I was a kid, but c'mon people!!!  My parents supervised our Trick or Treating until I got to be a teenager.  Then if I wanted to go I had to go with a group of friends.  You can let your kids have some damn fun as long as you are there!!!  My Dad stood at the end of the walk and watched us the whole time.  If any weirdness was going to go down, he would have known.  Folks, get freaking involved with your kids for Christsake!!!!  Stop sheltering them.  People don't know their neighbors anymore.  Why is that?  We are so paranoid about perverts and terrorists that we keep to ourselves, standing in our front yards giving our neighbors the hairy eyeball.  I blame the media I really do.  Last year we had a few carloads of kids; this year nothing.  Cat and I were both kind of pissed about, but like Liv says "hey more Reese's cups for me...".  I like the way she thinks sometimes.  I remember going to the 7-11 and trick or treating or to the car dealerships (usually the salesguys stole some of our candy, bastards.  Of course I usually gave them the questionable looking pieces.).  We looked at an Apartment building as a smorgasbord of sugary delights.  I now hear the excuse,well it's an apartment building so many stairs to climb and we shouldn't disturb them.  Why not?  It's Halloween for God's Sake people!!  A. It's a well known fact that on Halloween night people go door to door in costume asking for Candy.  B. If you don't want to participate, turn your damn porch light off and don't answer your door.   My across the street neighbors were Jehovah's Witnesses and since they don't believe in Halloween they would draw their drapes and shut off the porch light and not answer the door.  Simple.  Did they try and force their non-belief of the holiday on us?  Did they do everything they could to get rid of it all together?  No.  They kept their beliefs to themselves.  Which brings me to to Rant#2......

 

I blame the media for part of it, but I also blame the Christian Right as well.  I've notice that every year out here in one of the notches of the Bible Belt all the Churches have "Fall Fests" and encourage parents to bring their children to the Church for a night of Celebration of the Lord.  Because, as you all know, Halloween is EVIL!!!!  Yes folks, your kids dressing like Batman, Spiderman, Dora, a Disney Princess, Hannah Montana or a Power Ranger and going door to door asking for candy is THE WORK OF SATAN!!!!!  Yep.  The very fact of dressing in a costume and ringing a doorbell and saying Trick or Treat calls Ol' Scratch to the Earth to eat and corrupt your Children's immortal Souls.   Hell (that was intentional by the way) one of the churches here had a "Country Fair" going on.  They dispensed with Fall altogether.  What's wrong with these kids?  Hey if the Catholic Church I went to had a Fall Fest, I'd go to that to score the Punch and Pie and Free Hats then I'd whine and cajole my folks into still taking me around the neighborhood.  C'mon, it's free freaking candy!!!!!  Seriously, what the Hell is the matter with these people????  You can actually get something for nothing one night of the bloody year!!!!!  But no, just like everything else they disapprove of, the Christian Right is trying to Kill Halloween.  They wonder why their "flock" abandons them when they get older.  It's because they denied them a freaking Childhood!!!!  Halloween has become truly an Adult's holiday....Adult being 18 and up.  It's all about "The Demon's Dungeon" or "Fright Fest" or "The Slaughterhouse", professionally run haunted houses with great special effects and costumed actors scaring the crap out of you.  You pay to get in, but it's fun nonetheless.  Thank God someone is keeping the spirit alive!!!  I've entertained the idea of having a haunted house but I know the Churches will see my signs and start a propaganda campaign to keep people from going.   Damn Sheeple!!!!  I thought Religion was all about teaching your people, sharing your beliefs with your church members.  Not trying to shove your morality and ideas down everyone's throats.  Stop trying to ruin my favorite holiday or I will make Christmas so commercial you will go nuts.  I'd hate to have to do that as I know the real reason for the season but still like Santa and Frosty and Rudolph too.   Oh wait, they're Evil as well, I forgot.  They are False Gods that take worship away from the baby Jesus.  Yeah right.  The only God people worship at Christmas is the Gods of Visa, MasterCard, Amex, and Discover.  Or the Gods Andrew Jackson and Ben Franklin.