Pardon me, I feel a Rant coming on....

The Death of Halloween I will call this one.  Remember bugging your Parents to buy that cheesy one piece costume with the easily tearable mask?  Remember those?  It was a costume made of some kind of vinyl (and highly flammable) material that had an opening in the back and strings that you tied close behind your neck.  You stepped into this "costume" and your Mom tied it for you.  Then you put your mask on.  It was a face covering mask only.  Made of plastic with Eye holes, nostril holes and a mouth slit (you would usually stand in front of the mirror poking the tip of your tongue through the mouth slit because it was damn funny.) and a rubber band stapled to the sides that kept it on your face.   Oh yeah!  Then you add to the top of that a coat because it was a bit windy outside and your Mom didn't want you to get sick.  You got a pillow case from the linen closet and you and your Parent(s) went walking up and down the neighborhood, knocking on all the neighbor's doors saying "Trick or Treat" and you got candy.  Or you got the cheap neighbors who put handfuls of pennies in your bag, or the ones that would put a card with a bible verse in there.  Oh and you couldn't eat your candy until you got home because of all the "freaks" who might put razor blades and pills in them to hurt you.  Most of the houses had some kind of decoration; cardboard, brightly painted little window hangings or a skeleton or what have you put up.  Then there were the neighbor that outdid themselves every year.  Black lights and fog machines (back then usually a bucket of water with dry ice in it) and dummies on the porch with scary masks on.  God I loved Halloween; still do.  As an adult I was invited to many a party.  One couple we used to do Ren Faire with had a Halloween Party every year.  There was usually a theme on costumes (the Summer of Love party was great fun).  We played games like "Pin the Toupee on William Shatner" and one year it was "Pin the Murder on OJ" with the board being a picture of OJ from the tabloids with his hand raised waving and the "tail" was photocopies of a knife.  The person that got the knife closest to OJ's hand won.   The last time I really had fun at Halloween was 1995.   I lived in a house with a now Ex friend and his Hippy Mom.  We had a long driveway that went to a detached garage.  We put up a rope between our house and our neighbors (they gave us permission) and placed two blue plastic tarps over it blocking the driveway from view.  I was the MC, in my black Cloak and skull mask.  The gist; you had to navigate your way through the Tunnel of Terror and get to the stool at the end with a bowl of candy on it.  Once inside the Tunnel there were four chairs with four "dummies" sitting in them.  Two of the dummies were friends in masks, the other two actual dummies(we changed it up every once in awhile).  Meanwhile the Ex Friend was on the roof with a large rubber spider on the end of a fishing pole bouncing it off of people's heads.  Another friend was hiding behind a garbage can jumping out at folks.  People were screaming like crazy, and they kept coming back for more!!!!  I think we finally shut down at about 11 pm.  Man that was fun!!!  Okay, enough walking down Memory lane....it's RANT TIME!!!!

 

Over the years I've noticed a distinct lack of kids coming to the door.  It's like their parents don't want to be bothered, or are so scared of those "freaks" that they are falling into the old habits of "Bubble wrapping and foam padding" their kids so they don't get hurt.  Ah yes, the great "Sheltering" of the last decade or so.  What is the matter with people????  Yes, there are more freaks in the world than there were back when I was a kid, but c'mon people!!!  My parents supervised our Trick or Treating until I got to be a teenager.  Then if I wanted to go I had to go with a group of friends.  You can let your kids have some damn fun as long as you are there!!!  My Dad stood at the end of the walk and watched us the whole time.  If any weirdness was going to go down, he would have known.  Folks, get freaking involved with your kids for Christsake!!!!  Stop sheltering them.  People don't know their neighbors anymore.  Why is that?  We are so paranoid about perverts and terrorists that we keep to ourselves, standing in our front yards giving our neighbors the hairy eyeball.  I blame the media I really do.  Last year we had a few carloads of kids; this year nothing.  Cat and I were both kind of pissed about, but like Liv says "hey more Reese's cups for me...".  I like the way she thinks sometimes.  I remember going to the 7-11 and trick or treating or to the car dealerships (usually the salesguys stole some of our candy, bastards.  Of course I usually gave them the questionable looking pieces.).  We looked at an Apartment building as a smorgasbord of sugary delights.  I now hear the excuse,well it's an apartment building so many stairs to climb and we shouldn't disturb them.  Why not?  It's Halloween for God's Sake people!!  A. It's a well known fact that on Halloween night people go door to door in costume asking for Candy.  B. If you don't want to participate, turn your damn porch light off and don't answer your door.   My across the street neighbors were Jehovah's Witnesses and since they don't believe in Halloween they would draw their drapes and shut off the porch light and not answer the door.  Simple.  Did they try and force their non-belief of the holiday on us?  Did they do everything they could to get rid of it all together?  No.  They kept their beliefs to themselves.  Which brings me to to Rant#2......

 

I blame the media for part of it, but I also blame the Christian Right as well.  I've notice that every year out here in one of the notches of the Bible Belt all the Churches have "Fall Fests" and encourage parents to bring their children to the Church for a night of Celebration of the Lord.  Because, as you all know, Halloween is EVIL!!!!  Yes folks, your kids dressing like Batman, Spiderman, Dora, a Disney Princess, Hannah Montana or a Power Ranger and going door to door asking for candy is THE WORK OF SATAN!!!!!  Yep.  The very fact of dressing in a costume and ringing a doorbell and saying Trick or Treat calls Ol' Scratch to the Earth to eat and corrupt your Children's immortal Souls.   Hell (that was intentional by the way) one of the churches here had a "Country Fair" going on.  They dispensed with Fall altogether.  What's wrong with these kids?  Hey if the Catholic Church I went to had a Fall Fest, I'd go to that to score the Punch and Pie and Free Hats then I'd whine and cajole my folks into still taking me around the neighborhood.  C'mon, it's free freaking candy!!!!!  Seriously, what the Hell is the matter with these people????  You can actually get something for nothing one night of the bloody year!!!!!  But no, just like everything else they disapprove of, the Christian Right is trying to Kill Halloween.  They wonder why their "flock" abandons them when they get older.  It's because they denied them a freaking Childhood!!!!  Halloween has become truly an Adult's holiday....Adult being 18 and up.  It's all about "The Demon's Dungeon" or "Fright Fest" or "The Slaughterhouse", professionally run haunted houses with great special effects and costumed actors scaring the crap out of you.  You pay to get in, but it's fun nonetheless.  Thank God someone is keeping the spirit alive!!!  I've entertained the idea of having a haunted house but I know the Churches will see my signs and start a propaganda campaign to keep people from going.   Damn Sheeple!!!!  I thought Religion was all about teaching your people, sharing your beliefs with your church members.  Not trying to shove your morality and ideas down everyone's throats.  Stop trying to ruin my favorite holiday or I will make Christmas so commercial you will go nuts.  I'd hate to have to do that as I know the real reason for the season but still like Santa and Frosty and Rudolph too.   Oh wait, they're Evil as well, I forgot.  They are False Gods that take worship away from the baby Jesus.  Yeah right.  The only God people worship at Christmas is the Gods of Visa, MasterCard, Amex, and Discover.  Or the Gods Andrew Jackson and Ben Franklin.