World Champs at Last!!!!

It's been a long time coming and I'm glad my Father is still around to see it happen.  For him, this is the ultimate.  This is a man who used to hop the fence at Seal's Stadium and watch the Pacific Coast San Fran Seals play.  Then when the NY Giants moved to SF, he made several trips to Candlestick.  When his son, that would be me, came of age to understand what Baseball was it was time to pass on the torch of fandom; and pass it on he did.  In my young bachelor days my buds and I would try and get to every Friday night Gianst vs Dodgers game we could.  Good times, and yes we froze our asses off at the Stick....and yes, I will refer to it as the Stick forever more no matter what monkey buys the park and renames it.  The Giants outplayed the Rangers and proved they had what it takes to be champs.  This is what happens when you work as a Team.  A Team of Baseball players, not superstars with huge egos and roided up (Barry....) who bring the Teams morale down...no; Baseball players who genuinely love the game.  To The Freak, The Beard, Rentirria and the rest I congratulate you and thank you.  To Bochy, thank you for being a far superior Baseball Manager than Dusty Baker could ever hope to be.  Boch wouldn't have taken a pitcher doing well out and replace him with a crappy one making us lose.  No way.  Boch knew when to hold them and when to fold them.  To Joe Buck and Tim McCarver and the rest of the Faux Sports morons; Kiss it!!  You were so sure last night we'd be playing game Six on Wednesday in SF.  Got news for you Jackholes; you were wrong.  To all the "experts" who went on and on about the great Texas Rangers and the Underdog Giants.....Guess your asses were wrong too.  When a Team wants to win, needs to win, so badly they can taste it, that's who will end up on top.  It's like last year's Superbowl.  Peyton and the Colts came in all cocky and thinking they were unbeatable.  Then came the Saints.  Ignored, underestimated, but hungry for the win.  They walked all over the vaunted Peyton Manning and the Colts. 

Just goes to show you, never underestimate anyone.

Go Giants!!! See you next season.

Moron, Moron Burning Bright.

No, the above picture is not of the attention whore Pastor in Gainesville, Fla.  It's a dark fantasy of mine that this is what will happen when he goes to light that first match to set fire to his first Quaran....btw Jackhole it's not Kuran it's Quaran.  I mean if you're going to be a racist, hateful fuck you may want to spell shit right.  I have a deep, deep desire to see this picture on the news.  I can just see it now, "Well it seems that Pastor Jones put a bit too much lighter fluid on the bonfire and some of it got on his cheap suit."   Oh Pastor Jones....you claim to be a "Man of God" but honestly, there's a very warm place waiting for you and Fred Phelps of Westboro when you both shuffle off this mortal coil....and not soon enough for me honestly.  I just don't get the hatred and ignorance.   Then again I'm not a Christian so maybe that's it....no...not really.  I know tons of Christians who are appaled at this Jackhole.

The right way and wrong way to market something.

No I'm not a professional, this is just an opinion piece.   There, got the disclaimer out of the way.  The wrong way to advertise something is to make some bizarre commercial that makes no sense whatsoever.  The latest Levi ads do this.  They have some guy reading a poem that has the line "Pioneers O Pioneers" while Twenty-something models run around in black and white prancing in jeans and barefoot....At first you don't see that they are wearing jeans....actually they are all prancing around too much and there's fireworks and all kinds of stupid going on.   Honestly, fire the idiot that came up with that one.  Could someone please tell me what's with Quiznos obssession with weird ass, creepy, nightmare inducing commercials?  Seriously folks what gives?  First you have some critter that looks like a hamster with Human eyes and a hat screaming in some high pitched voice....have you seen this?  It looks like a 5 year old cut out a picture of a hamster then cut out the eyes of a person in a picture and glued them on the hamster.  It looks like Picasso on acid.  It's creepy and disturbing.  The two things I want going through my mind when I go get a sandwich.  Then they had Bob the talking Baby.  Number 1, Bob wasn't that cute of a baby.....on the flip side, the E Trade Baby that talks about making stock trades etc...that's funny.....number 2 Bob had a voice like your pedophile Uncle Ralph.  Yet again creepy and disturbing.  Then they had one with an oven talking to a guy.  Not creepy, just stupid really.  Their new one I think is the worst to date.  You have an off key tune of "three blind mice" being sung by high pitched gravelly voices that are coming from kittens dressed in costumes holding signs.   It's like a Friskees induced nightmare.  But yet through all of these failures in advertising they have yet to wonder why they are always behind Subway.  Gee, don't know.  Could it be your commercials are too damn disturbing and weird for anyone to focus on your product....morons.   Where was it written that all toddlers in commercials have to talk like they have speech impediments?  These little kids in band aid commercials all talk like Elmer Fudd..."My cut is all bwettew".......not cute but annoying.   The ones I can't stand is when they take a modern song and add their own lyrics to it that are absolutely horrible or change the style of the song all together.  EMF did a song called "Unbelievable".  Main chorus "you're unbelievable".  Kraft was pitching a crumbled cheese product and used the song and the chorus was "you're crumbelievable".......Kraft, go die.   Or Lincoln using the Blue Oyster Cult song "Burning for You" but the music has changed and they have a chorous of women singing it.   No no no.   BOC is not lounge music. 

Now the ones that get it right.  Geico.  I will probably never buy Geico insurance, but their commercials are funny.  The Gecko, really never gets old.  Their new ones with the ultra serious guy with the deep voice....funny.  Especially the new one with the little pig going "Whee whee" all the way home.  Kills me everytime.   Even Subway's ads, be they not that funny or memorable, pitch their product and entertain while doing it.  Old Navy's Modlequines are amusing.  I honestly will never buy anything at Old Navy (their clothes are too cheaply made and not styled for a 45 year old guy....) but their commercials work.  Jack in the Box has some of the best.  Burger King, not so much.  I'm not sure how a creepy, stalking king works but apparently they run with it, and often.   The one commercials I will always listen to on the radio: Bud Light's Real Men of Genuis.   That is some seriously funny crap.  I don't like Bud Light, but their commercials kill me.   The way I look at it, if I have to sit through your ads, entertain me.  Don't suck 30 seconds of my life away, entertain me for those 30 seconds. 

The Networks often advertise for their upcoming shows...good on them it's often hard to keep up with what's on.   The Network that does it the best though, USA.  Hands down some of the funniest.  They usually have characters from one of their shows in a spot with chracters from another show.   The result is usually quite funny.   One that comes to mind:  Neal Caffrey from the show White Collar is sitting at a restaurant with The Big Show, a very large wreslter.  They are sharing a bottle of wine and the Big Show is talking in an upper class manner discussing his opinions of the taste of the wine, etc like a wine expert would.  Neal asks "you're talking about the '97 right"  The Big show responds with "no the 96".  They have a big upper class manly chuckle about it then the Big Show puts his hand down on the table and it falls over. He gets a sheepish grin on his face saying "happens to me all the time".   The other one that's good is you have Michael and Fiona of Burn notice in a restaurant and Fiona is going through her purse looking for something and pulls out a gun and sets it on the table.  Peter Burke, FBI Agent from White Collar walks by and says "do you have a permit for that gun?".  Fiona covers it with a napkin saying "what gun" and as Peter reaches for it she sets her purse on top of it and a grenade rolls out.    Goofy, but an interesting way of advertising their stable of shows.

Bwa ha ha ha ha......

So it looks like the term "Endorsed by the (insert state here) Tea Party" has become the kiss of death for candidates now.  I love it!!!  It also appears that these Tea Bagger candidates are doing a find job of burying their careers all by their little lonesomes.  Keep it up Tea Baggers.....the House and Senate will stay in just the way they are.

Co-Worker saw me with some activia yogurt today and said he was concerned that Jaime Lee Curtis worries about peoples poop way too much

Why I think the new Hawaii Five-0 will be good.

I think it will be good because they really don't have to "re-imagine" it.  It was a cop show based in Hawaii.  It will still be a cop showed based in Hawaii.  Nothing new there.  Too bad Jack Lord died years ago; it would have been great to see him show up a time or two in an episode.  Usually I don't like re-makes.  For the following reasons:

They ususally suck.  Nothing captures the essences of the original, even if it sucked.  There are rare occassions when a re-make out does the original, John Carpenter's "The Thing" was far superior than the original, but usually then end up either being so far off of the original that they should have just called it something else and renamed characters (Battlestar Galactica) or tried to be just like the original but failed horribly (I hear the new Nightmare on Elm Street was like this).

This remake though, looks to be another good Cop show in a sea of cop shows...yeah I know way too many, but I like them more than Medical shows myself.  

There needs to be a mandatory Bathroom etiquette sign in all public/work bathroom stalls that says "Rule 1: Courtesy Flush">:O

TV recommendations; New Season of the Closer is great so far and check out Rizzoli and Isles. Also Memphis Beat.

The Evil Aliens from Mexico

I'm so glad that the Fed is suing Arizona over their new Gestapo law.  In a word, the law is unconstitutional.  That's right.  That wonderful piece of paper that the Repugs and Tea Baggers love to want to quote line by line has this ammendment in it called the 4th Ammendment that gives everyone in this Country protection from unlawful search and seizure.   The Arizona law would basically give cops permission to seize and search anyone that remotely looks mexican.   There are laws against discrimination, but this law would circumvent those laws.  Who's next?  Jews?  Asians?  I understand that illegal immigration is a big problem, but there are already laws on the books that aren't getting enforced as it is.  I will tell you the best solution to illegal immigration.

Go after the businesses doing the hiring.

Real simple right?  Families aren't leaving their home Country in droves, risking life and limb crossing the desert on the faint hope that there might be a job for them.  No.  They are coming here because someone has told them there are jobs waiting for them.  The Corporations are hiring illegals so they can keep their costs down and maximize profit.   Somebody is hiring the Coyotes and someone is bribing the Border Patrol to look the other way.  The problem with this solution is the Republicans.  Yep.  They don't want to be Anti-Corporation so they won't go after the real problem.  Nope, they'd rather turn Arizona into a Police State and encourage legalized discrimination and racial profiling.   Since I have brown skin and black hair, guess I won't be going to Arizona anytime soon. 

What about the drug trafficing.

Well let's see, if there wasn't a demand, there wouldn't be the supply.  It's very simple, stop using the damn drugs.  Morons.  Better yet, legalize Marijuana, and take away the money stream for the cartels and they won't be able to sell it in your State.  Even better, have the National Guard attached to the DEA and have them spend their time looking for drug smugglers and not unarmed families who were paid for to be brought to our Country to work.

B-bbbbbb-ut they're taking our jobs...

Bullshit.  No American I know is willing to work picking crops for 2 bucks an hour.  No American I know is willing to work in a factory for 4 bucks an hour.  They aren't taking shit.

But hey, let's get rid of all the Mexicans shall we.   Not a good idea.  Here's why:

The price of produce will go through the roof.  If you have Americans picking the crops they will either A. Unionize.  This means it will cost the employer 30 an hour per employee.  Where does that increased cost go to?  That's right, you and me.  B. Not unionize but demand higher pay and benefits.

The Foster system will be slammed with thousands of children.  That's right, according to our Constitution, anyone born in this Country, regardless of your parents country of origin, is considered a Citizen.  So all the children born to illegal parents are citizens and you can't deport a citizen without real good cause.  Another reason the Arizona law is unconstititional, it seeks to deny citizenship to the children of illegal parents born in this Country.

Gotta love how the Repugs embrace the Constitution when it serves them but want to throw it away when it gets in the way of their agendas.

Hey Repugs, thanks for no more unemploymemt

When will Hollywood learn? If your film stars Tom Cruise or is directed by M Night Shamalamadingdong then of course it's going to flop

This is great! Now I can rant from the road! Gotta love mobile blogging!

So I guess the repugnicans want to create a further burden on the system by denying an extension on unemployment claims.

I'm confused....

No really I am.  Why is everyone expecting the Federal Government to clean up BP's mess in the Gulf?   I love how the conservative media blasts the Pres for spending money all the time yet wants him to fork out cash to clean up a Corporation's mess that they made by their negligence?  Where is all the "personal responsibility" talk now GOP????   I understand the anger; I really do.  Basically instead of just capping off the well and stopping the leak, BP is doing everything in their power to get that oil into a tanker so they can refine it and get it to market regardless of the cost to the environment.  This is their problem.  They only care about the black viscous crap coming out of the hole in the ground they made.....they could give a shit or care less about seabirds and fish or coastlines....they just want their oil.  Well, I think the President should fine the living shit out of BP.  Hit their gas stations with a monthly fee and take that fee and pay to clean it up ourselves.  Tell BP to back the Hell off and sit down and shut up, then plug the freaking well and send them the bill.  If they don't pay, then keep charging that monthly fee until they pay up or shut down.

Movie and TV Recommendations

If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend the new Sherlock Holmes movie.  Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels....must sees if you haven't seen them yet by the way) did an awesome job and Robert Downing Jr. is awesome as Holmes.  Jude Law's interpretation of Watson is wonderful as well.

The Blindside.  If you haven't seen this movie, you really need to.  No, it's not just another sports movie, it's a movie about the charity of the human spirit.  After seeing Sandra Bullock in this movie, I will again say "Jesse James, you're a dumb ass.....". 

Justified.  If you haven't seen this yet, watch tonight's episode.  It looks to be a good one.  It's about a US Marshall in Kentucky who used to work in Miami.  He is a fast draw and wears a Stetson Hat....kind of a modern day gunslinger.  It's good TV.

Think of the Poor Mistresses????

Saw an interview the other day with the Tatooed skank that outed Jesse James as a cheater.  She swears she's "not a homewreaker" and that she thought he was "a separted" man???  Yeah right bitch.  You know who he is, and you know who he is married to.  She then went on to lament that "why does everyone get mad at the mistress.." Gee stupid, could be because you are sleeping with a married man and ruining a marriage and a life.   I'm not saying she's to blame...no no no...Jesse James is to blame as well.   Why are women so easily fooled by married guys?  It should be obvious to you he's married.  Here are a few signs:
1. He doesn't care if he crashes and burns while talking to you.  He's way too confident for that.  A good sign he's married.
2. White tan mark on his left hand where a ring should be...hmmmm what could have been there?
3. Doesn't focus on you, always looking around. 
4. Is a public figure who is constantly on TV/in the papers, etc.......also a famous guy who is always seen in the company of a woman identified AS HIS WIFE!!!!

Idiots.....married guys aren't that sly.   We have forgotten how to be.....why remember a skill that you no longer need.  Seriously, this is why it takes guys a bit to get back in the game when they get divorced or their Wife dies.   Married guys have "that look".  Single guys have a different look.   If you ladies can't tell by now, then you all need to get a clue.

I should write a book about this stuff...... ;)

Is it just Me?

Is it just me, or is the rest of the world tired of Tiger Woods apologizing every other week on TV?  Seriously Dude, STFU and just go play some golf or whatever.   You gave a totally insincere apology for cheating on your Wife, then you give another one for getting pissed off at hecklers at the Masters at Augusta (Cinderella Boy...out of nowhere...here at Augusta.....I know...too much Caddyshack).  What did you expect Dumbass?  You cheated on your Wife with 4,000 women and you expect folks to just pat you on the back and say "Way to go...".   Gene Simmons has been lauded for sleeping with a crapload of women, but he did that before he was married, not while he was married.   You don't get the same applause dude.  You are a cheating scum, deal with it.  Oh and Jesse James, that skank you cheated on Sandra Bullock with...WTF were you thinking Dude?  She's a freaking beast!   Stupid stupid people.   Have you noticed that the new trend when a man gets caught cheating is to claim they are "sex addicts" and check themselves into rehab?  I believe there are actual sex addicts out there, but I don't think Tiger and Jesse are one of those folks.  Sorry boys, you are scum that got caught cheating.  You weren't so worried about your "problem" until you got caught.   I need to open one of these clinics.  Someone is making a mint on these schmucks and I want in on it.  Hi, welcome to Steve's Clinic, that will be 50,000 dollars....thank you.  Yes you are a sex addict.  Why didn't I think of that...

It boggles my mind how many people still support Sorehead Failin even after all the crap about her that constantly comes out.  Every other freaking week.  She's a liar, a cheat, sneaky, underhanded and an absolute lunatic yet hoards of mouth-breathing, White, Rednecks flock to her side.  Just don't get it.

Faux News just needs to die in a fire.  Seriously, someone set their offices ablaze please?  Oh wait, I think Homeland Security might get on me for that comment.   It's like someone has given them an enema and the crap just flows non-stop!!  Bloomberg, you sir are an asshole.  Just saying.

Saw an interesting bit of trivia on Faux News the other day.  It seems that most Teabaggers are Trailer Trash Republicans and Rich, White, Republicans.  Gee...you think?

Is it just me, or should we give that Father that punched the crap out of a Westboro Baptist member at his Son's funeral for spewing their hatred a medal?  I believe in Free Speech, but this shit is out of hand.  Even Anti-War protestors don't protest at Soldier's funerals.   Only these fucktards.  Fred Phelps and his "congregation" need to die in a fire.   If that comment spurs someone on to act, I won't be sorry.  Thank God for the Patriot Guard.  These are Motorcyclists that park their bikes in front of these Douchebags and block their view of the funeral and pretty much keep them from causing a ruckus. 

I love this comment....too bad I don't live in his district...

"Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen is getting national attention after what he said about the group.

The Democrat said the Tea Party, "without hoods and robes," has shown an angry, hardcore side of America that's against diversity."

Hell Yes!!!  Thank you Brother and Amen!!!  It's good to see pockets of rational thought out here in the South.   The Teabaggers have gone from "angry citizens" to Right Wing Nut Jobs.   They love to carry signs that say "America Wake Up"....um lunatic fringe, we already have.

A Few Recent Observations

Click on the title of this entry for the full story on the movement to have McDonald's retire Ronald.  Yep, apparently Ronald is "The Devil" and a big reason for childhood obesity.  Okay, so a Clown that a chain of restaurants have been using for decades now to give their facilities a Family Friendly atmosphere is apparently making children fat.  Really?????  Let's see, I'm a chubby adult, but I wasn't a fat kid.  I ate McD's and all the others, but not all the time.   I think the real reason for the ever fattening up of our children is the expense to eat healthy.  Seriously, have you ever tried to shop for healthier foods????  Shit's expensive!!!!  I was discussing this with one of the guys that works at our local YMCA.  Healthy food=huge expense.  Unhealthy food (our example was Hamburger Helper) 50 cents...... Higher cost, but you live longer, or cheap and death?   Today's families are very busy.  Lot's of multi-tasking going on and folks need to eat.  Unfortunately, most chain restaurants kill you with the portions and the fat and calories.   Also the prices.  I love me some Olive Garden, but it's salty, fatty and expensive!   Hey Mr. Ranter, it's chicken mostly....oh yes Dear Reader you are correct.  It is Chicken mostly.  Chicken in a cream sauce, heavily salted!!!!  More of these chains need to be like Applebee's.  They have a whole Weight Watchers section with the point value of the entrees laid out.  They also have their under 550 calorie dishes.  Their prices are decent as well.   I don't think it's Ronald making kids fat; I think it's a generation of lazy ass kids with parents too exhausted to force them to get off their asses, put the game controller down, and go the hell outside and play! 

I saw an ad on Faux News the other night...no I don't watch it at home, it's always on one of the TV's at the Y.  I mean it is the South and all......about Sorehead Failin's new show "Real American Stories" or some "Patriotic" blow red white and blue sunshine up your ass name like that.  Anyway, the guests on the show included Toby Keith...gee now surprise there....and LL Cool J.  I paused thinking to myself "Really??? LL???"  Come to find out Sorehead was going to use an interview he did two years ago and re-show it.  LL's people made a statement saying he would not be appearing on her show, nor had he been asked.  Apparently Toby Keith's appearance is going to be a rebroadcast of an interview he did last year.  His people have made a statement as well.   Gee Sorehead, you have to stoop to rebroadcasting other people's interviews and claiming them as "guests" on your show why?  Oh that's right, no one is going to watch the damn show anyway....you've got to get the asses in the seats somehow huh Dumbass.   Keep trying Sorehead....the Real Americans see through your bullshit.   Here's hoping the Teabagger express derails with her on it.....

The Death of the Video Store???

Apparently so.  I noticed that the two Hollywood Video stores in my area have Store Closing signs on them.  I just read an article to verify that yes, they are filing for bankruptcy and closing a lot of stores.  Their excuse?  Netflix and RedBox.  I didn't know this, but it seems that Movie Gallery bought out Hollywood Video (I thought they were just two different versions of the same place) and before they did this round of store closures, the Parent companies original stores, Movie Gallery, were the one's being closed first.  I don't think you can blame NetFlix or RedBox really.  It's the store management I blame.  They keep trying to shove this new "Powerplay" thing down your throat EVERY SINGLE TIME you go into the store and you literally have to tell them a dozen time "No, I'm not interested...thanks anyway."  I guess they were giving employees incentives to sign people up or something. Look, if I wanted to pay a monthly fee to rent movies I'd join Netflix.  Why should I pay a monthly fee to a brick and mortar store that I have to drive to and sometime come away empty handed from because what I want to rent isn't there?   So I pay you a monthly fee so you will lower your prices and then I get to keep the movie as long as I want........I have an idea, although it's obviously too late,  why not just lower your prices......See NetFlix charges a flat fee a month and not rental fee on top of that....you were trying to charge a flat fee plus a rental fee.   Bad idea.   If you want to really compete with the competition, Walmart them.   Walmart loves to sell the same item for 5 cents cheaper....Wii Fit Plus normally retails for 19.99...Walmart had it for 19.94.   Very deceiving....not really, it's a typical Marketing ploy.  People buy more things at 19.95/19.99 than they'd do at 20 dollars.  It's a perception thing.  They think they are getting a "Great Deal!!!" but after sales tax they really aren't.  Sad to see Hollywood Video going away, where else am I going to rent Wii games to see if I want to buy them or not??? Yeah I know, Gamefly, but I don't like paying monthly fees for crap I don't use that often.  It's too bad Corporations don't see the big picture sometime. 

When does Rush's plane board?

Click on the blog title link to go to the blog of Zennie Abraham....a very astute blogger attached to SFGate.com.  He's asking the same thing I'm asking.....when's Limbaugh leaving the country?  C'mon Rush, you said if Health Care Reform passes you'd go to Costa Rica....so when's your plane leaving?  C'mon big mouth, man up.  You said you'd leave...get the fuck out already.  Ciao, buh bye.   Oh that's right, I forgot; you won't leave because you are a coward.  A lying, drug addicted, hate mongering, coward who doesn't have the balls to own up to the crap he spews.  If I was one of your listeners I'd be pissed at what a big liar you are.....oh yeah, those folks can't think for themselves...how silly of me to forget that.  They need you and Beck to tell them their opinions.  I'm serious Rush; tell me when and where and I'll be there with a nice fruit basket doing my best Bugs Bunny impression: "Toodle oo, bon voy-agy...hor revor..."

Generation PunkAss

You remember the Baby Boomers and Gen X and even Gen Y....I have a new one for you: Generation PunkAss.   In a conversation I had the other night with a friend I haven't spoken to in years we both came to the conclusion that Teenage Boys are dumbasses.   I remember back to my teen days and realize that nothing has changed, it's that we didn't get away with it.....or weren't allowed to anyway.   I've mentioned the Airsoft Forum and Field I frequent before, and there are a more than enough incidents of Teen Boy Dumbassery to back up my theory.   Teen Males tend to be mouthy, punks, etc but can usually be put in their places....it's called Good Parenting....see when I was a dumbass, my Father would call me on it and straighten my shit out.   Or other adults would call me on it and if my Father was around those adults would have to get in line to straighten my shit out.  One of the topics on our forum is gaming, i.e. video gaming.  There's this one 14 year old dumbass who never knows when to shut his trap.  He is an XBOX convert...it's the best system ever, your opinion sucks, your an ass if you don't like it....blah blah blah.  When he is bombarded with facts he basically resorts to a digital middle finger and keeps running his mouth.   He's just 1 example of his generation.   They are all like that.  Seriously it's true.  One reason not to get an Xbox would be Xbox Live....a link to an online multiplayer area where you can play the same game with hundreds/thousands of other Xbox folks.   The problem with Xbox Live is it's populated by 12-14 year old males who are real tough guys behind the anonymity of the internet.  It's a constant trash talking, bullying, punkass environment.  A little friendly competition is one thing...i.e.  Dude you're going down....but these kids don't do that.  They take it to extremes.  I guess you can say that Ashton Kutcher is kind of the poster child for their generation.  Punk'd is the most annoying show ever.  Seriously Ashton....try some of that shit on me and a lawyer will be knocking on your door and I'll own everything you and your Mom...I mean Wife have.  I fear for my future....I really do.

Is it Just Me?

In the News Today:  1 out of 10 Tennesseeans is a Teabagger.  Really?  I thought anything closely related to being Gay was a sin?  That means that 1 out of 10 Tennesseeans is a hypocrite.  Oh wait, I think that number is probably bigger.   :)

In the News Today: More Global Warming "facts debunked" or something like that.  I get really sick of this shit.  I won't fully buy into Al Gore's Power Point Presentation of Doom and Gloom, but I do know a few things that I believe in:

A. 100+ years of heavy industrialization have screwed up our planet.  Period, Exclamation point.  We have been slowly taking steps to improve such things and I think we are doing a good job.

B.  The Anti-Global Warming folks' line about "If the planet is warming up then why is it so damn cold lately???"  is just plain stupid.   Think about it dumbasses.  Have you ever been swimming in a lake in the summer time?  The surface of the lake is hot and the temperature of the water gets cooler the deeper you are.  Every fisherman knows that if you want a chance at catching any fish at Noon on a summer day, you better make sure your bait goes real deep...that's where the fish are hiding where it's cool.  Our planet is experiencing the same thing.  The hotter the upper atmosphere gets, the colder it is closer to the surface of the planet.   That's why we are having what seems to be mini-Ice Ages. 

C. Why, oh why is it so bad of an idea to want to be more ecological in the way we deal with the environment?  Seriously you freaking monkies why are you so against this crap?   Give me a damn car that runs on waste water and I'll buy the bloody thing.  Imagine, a car that runs off of all the dirty rinse water in your sink, from your laundry.   Oh darn, that would put the Oil Companies out of business....gee I'm so heartbroken.  What's wrong with just using bamboo for building material?  A bamboo forest only takes a year or two to fully regrow......just think about how much product they could sell?  They wouldn't have the government up their asses with regulations, no eco-terrorists putting nails in trees to damage saw blades etc.  Seriously guys, you'd be more productive and make craploads more money on the sheer volume alone!  Hell if the damn Paper mills would grow fields of Soy Beans they would have more than enough product to produce paper.....you wouldn't have to use damn trees.  Would it cost that much to re-tool?  What's the hold up?

Is it just me, or are you tired of all these jackasses who "don't want the Government in their business"?  Really, you are tired of the Government in your lives huh?  Okay fucktards.....so you are straight on all of this, if you don't want the Government in your lives then do the following:

A. Stop trying to have Gay Marriage outlawed.  You are basically asking the Government to sponsor discrimination......so I guess if you want something outlawed you are okay with the Government being involved huh?

B. The next time your house catches fire, don't call the fire department.   That's a Government mandated organization and since you don't want the Government in you life and you are so better off without then get off of your lazy ass, grab your hose and put your own fire out.

C. Next time your family feels threatened, or you get into an accident or need an authority to deal with something, don't call the Police.  They are a Government mandated organization. 

D. Call the Post Office and refuse any mail service.  That's right, that damn Post Office is a Government Agency and they are just screwing up your life by their interference.   Good luck getting that birthday card with money in it from Grandma.

E. Speaking of money.....take all your money out of the bank.  Now!  It's an Evil organization regulated by the Government for your protection.  Yep those banks are just messing with your lives.  Good luck paying your non-local bills.  Especially since you can't use the bank's bill pay service and since you aren't mailing out those checks because you don't want that Evil Government Post Office in your life. 

F. Call the food manufacturers and farm co-ops and tell them you don't care what they put in your food or that you don't care if the farm/factory worker washes his hands while dealing with your food.  After all, those standards, etc are mandated by Government Interference......

G. Tell your boss that you don't want overtime. Actually work 24 hours a day if you want.  That's right, that 40 hour work week that you enjoy is there because of Government interference.  We can't have that now can we?

H. Cutoff your municpal water service.  Dig a well and deal with what comes out of that.  The purity of your tap water is, of course, mandated by Government interference. 

I. Call the sewage treatment plant and have them release the untreated water back to your house.  That's right, the Government has mandated that all sewage be treated and the water cleaned and purified.  So since you don't want that pesky Government in your lives, deal with your own shit an piss you flush away.  Good luck with that too.

and finally....

J. If you don't want the Government involved, then move the fuck out!  Go live in Somali or in Mexico (where the Government will do your bidding for the right price) or better yet, move your ass to an Island somewhere in the Pacific and see just how well you survive without the Government Interfering in your lives...

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or is being married and middle aged kind of fun?  Seriously, I do enjoy being the age I am and being married.  I know, sounds odd coming from a guy (essentially we are supposed to want to fight old age to the bitter end and want to sleep with anything that moves), but I really do enjoy where I am in life right now.   My Wife and I have a good marriage, we are comfortable with each other and genuinely enjoy each other's company.   I know people who have that "she's the old ball and chain" attitude, but that's not me.  I will be 45 this year, and you know what; who cares?  Seriously, it's a number.   What has driven me to write this is constant "war on aging" that television slams us with.  Toyota (poor Toyota) has been showing these commercials for the Sienna mini-van that show a 40 something couple in complete denial that they are married parents who bought a mini-van by using terms like "Mom-Like" and "Dad-Like".  Sorry folks, you did the deed, had the kids, are raising them, etc.  You are Mom and Dad; i.e. Parents.   Deal with it and move on.   Dove has some great anti "war on aging" commericals out now.  They are selling their body wash for men by saying "after all the macho bs is done and you are now comfortable".....essentially saying, hey we came up with a product that won't dry out your skin and get you clean and you won't be considered a pansy or a wimp for using it because you're an old guy.  

I feel sorry for single folks, I really do.  Not the one's in relationships; technically you're not single then.  No, I'm talking about the "serial daters"; the ones that are constantly with someone new.  That's got to suck.  Yeah I know the whole "you eat saltines all your life then you have a ritz and it's like a whole new world opens up", but my attitude is "it's a damn cracker".  Unsalted, lightly salted, spiced up, whatever; deep down inside, under all the layers it's still a cracker.   I believe that if you communicate well in your relationships, you can eat an flavor of cracker you want; and it will all come out of the same box. 

Damn I'm hungry now......

Spam, Spam, Spam Spam....

Not the canned meat product of the Gods.....no, no not that kind, the Electronic kind.  It honestly makes me wonder how people fall for this crap.  Here's a few examples from my current Spam folder:

Good Day,.




I hope my letter meets you in good health. I am a former bank staff here in Istanbul-Turkey. I'd apparently contacted you due to similarity with your location as compared with one of our late client's supposed grantee holder. I humbly wish to request your help to be presented as the (Grantee) to the deposit so that the it can be safely transferred out of Turkey before it is foreclosed upon. If agreed all back up documents will be provided to you for official Notary purpose at your local notary office which will enable all procedures be carried out legally.



Further information will be forwarded to you on receipt of a positive response from you.



Sincerely Yours

K. D. Emin
 
WTF?????  The above paragraph doesn't even make sense.  But yet, there is some monkey out there who will think that someone in Turkey is going to give them money.   Wait, it gets better. 
 
How's it going Sue




can't believe i'm really doing this, logged into %%site%% and thought of u.



if ur not busy can you give me your opinion on this come see it over here,
 
luv, you know who


Huh?????  There was a link but I'm not going to give the spamming asshole the satisfaction.  Okay, who the Hell is Sue and who is "you know who"?  Who pays these schmucks to send this crap, and do they realize it's just wasted money as no intelligent person is going to click on the link.   Here's another:
 
was that you at the bar




i was in red and black



click here

Another link attached which I have chosen to not include here.   Let's see, I was at the Y last night with my Wife and Step-Daughter then after that I was home watching Survivor so no it wasn't me at the bar.   Even if I was a single guy who went out to bars everynight I wouldn't fall for this.  Unless you give someone your email address, no strange woman is going to magically get it and email you. 
 
 
Just found these particularly interesting.

TV Recommendations, Weird Commercials and Please go away Sorehead Failin'

Leverage just wrapped up it's winter season and will be back in the summer.  If you aren't watching this show, why?  Damages is back as well, and this season the big case is ripped from the headlines.  Great shows both, I highly suggest checking them out.

In the category of "How not to sell stuff to people" we find CVS Pharmacies.   They have this new spokesperson, a white haired Grandma who is pitching their products.  Okay, little old ladies have been used before to good effect (The Wendy's "Where's the Beef" lady comes to mind) but this one isn't working for me.  Frankly she scares me.   She looks like that grumpy old bitch that lived down the street from you when you were a kid.  You know, the one that personified the grumpy old person mantle.  "Get off my lawn" would be heard alot.  All her lights were off on Halloween and she never gave out anything.   The new spokesperson also reminds me of that ancient Substitute teacher that you'd get no matter what grade you were in.  You need to find a nicer Grandma figure CVS.

In the category of "They are so mean to me.." comes the darling of the GOP Sorehead Failin' and her newest bout of outrage and something she thinks is aimed at her.   Okay, this one did make a reference to "my Mother is a former Governer of Alaska", but still.   Apparently the show "Family Guy" (one of the non-funniest shows on TV) had a character that was "special" that had become the love interest of Chris, one of the characters on the show.  She talked about herself and mentioned the above line regarding her mother's past.  Now Failin' has a Down Syndrome Child, but the child is an infant and a male.  It's also probably her oldest slut's...I mean daughter's child but I digress.  (That's right GOP, you have your "he's a Kenyan not an American" and we have our "That's not her child that's her Grandchild".)  I got news for you Sorehead:

A. Family Guy has humor as tasteless and biting as South Park (although South Park is just damn funny in comparison.).  Family Guy often illicits that "Oh No they didn't?" response.  
B. You are now employed by Fox.  Fox produces Family Guy, airs the show and makes a mint off of the advertising and marketing from the show.  In other words, you are pissing in your own Cheerios dumb ass.

Oh Lord, please make this stupid Bitch go away.....

Hey at least Joe the Plumber has finally admitted he was a tool.......

GOP=Grainy Old Phonograph

That's right, I said Grainy Old Phonograph.  You know, Broken Record.   Seriously you mouth breathing, mentally deficient, Right Wing, Nut Jobs need to to shut the Hell up about two things in particular:

1. The Whole "teleprompter" thing.  Everyone uses a teleprompter you dumbasses.  W used to have an earpiece with someone talking into his ear when a teleprompter wasn't available.  Glenn Beck and Hannity who rail against the President do so by reading those same words off of, you guessed it, a teleprompter.   Holy Christ folks.  You hate a man because he reads words off of a screen?

2. "He's not a citizen."  Okay dumbasses, when a person runs for office like Senator or Congress or President, an independent, non-partisan panel checks that very fact out.  So I guess President Obama has to show his birth certificate but John McCain didn't have to?  Oh yeah, it's because McCain is white...I forgot that part. 

The GOP has become the party of the Broken Record.  It's become the party of hatemonger and lies.  They rail and rant and demean but yet they don't come up with any solution other than "leave things alone".  Oh yeah, that's good.  Things are so great the way they are. 

Another thing, Democrats, get off your asses and stop letting the freaking Right Wing, Nutjobs control the conversation!!!  Seriously, you dumbasses do this all the time.  You had the majority, then you just sat there on your laurels letting the Teabaggers, Hannitys, O'Reilys, Becks and Palins of the world stir up the Country.  Jesus you dipshits, wake the Hell up!!!!

I was expecting this to happen.....

I just didn't know it was as wide spread as it is.  Click on the blog title to be taken to the Sacramento United Coalition of Reason's website.  Here's there billboard

They are a group that tells people it's okay "not to believe".  As most readers of this blog know, I'm not too fond of organized religions.   I find them controlling, unreasonable, xenophobic and full of hypocrisy.  I also think that they give people excuses to act like animals sometimes and to feel more "holier than thou".  I expected something this to happen eventually.  When W. was President, he pretty much catered to the Religious Right.  For 8 years we saw an increased blurring of the lines between Church and State.  It's good to see there are others out there who are seeing the "light" (or not seeing the "light" because that's a religious reference after all.)

Social Networking

I just read an article in today's Tennessean (an extreme, right leaning newspaper much like the SF Chronicle leans left) about folks "signing off" of Social Networking sites.   These people claim that it eats up too much of their lives, etc.   These are obviously people with no self control.   I personally use Facebook as it's a bit more Adult Oriented.  No, not that way you pervs, there are more adults on Facebook than on any other Social Network site.   I love it personally.  My eldest Step-Daughter and her Husband send me little blurbs, etc all the time.  I've reconnected with Family members that have lost touch, old High School friends and the like.   For awhile there we didn't have any home computer at all.  The Desktop died, the laptop died so we were stuck.  Even then, I would log on once in a blue moon and check my Facebook page and not be all stressed because it had been a few weeks or months since the last time I check.  No one gave me grief for it, nor do I feel it's sucking my life away.   These sites are great tools and with a bit of self-control, you will be just fine.    I don't use Myspace because it's populated by Teens; I have a 15 year old Step-Daughter, I get enough of Teen "drama" without having to go to a webpage with blasting music and banners flashing you to an epileptic seizure.  No thanks, I'll stick with my simple, clean Facebook page any day.  The one I don't think is really useful, for at least myself anyway, is Twitter.   Honestly, my friends and the world do not need to know my every move at all times of the day.   I don't know of many of the GoG that use Twitter.  I'm glad they don't because I can jus see the Tweets now:

The Warden:  "Just took a massive shit.  Man it stunk.  It was approximately 18 inches long and curled nicely as it evacuated itself from my ass."

The Discourser: "Just declared biological warfare on the room.  Man that was a stinky one!!!  I think the Professor's face is turning blue."

The Perfect Line: "Just finished banging a hot chick.  Damn she has nice tits.....we took pictures.  I will show them to you at our next gaming session."

And these would be the tame ones from the GoG, trust me. 

---

WTF is that White Stuff????

This is my front yard from a couple of weeks ago.  The white area past the tree in the background is the street that runs outside my front yard......oh wait, what Street!?!?!?!  Exactly.   This looks like an alien landscape to me.  I mean in Cali the only places that ever got snow was way up North in Shasta area and the Tahoe area.   You know in Shasta where they have that cheap property that Eric Estrada pitches.  Some paradise huh?  

Teabaggers: Morons to the extreme.+

The Tea Party movement, or as I sarcastically like to call them "Tea Baggers", started as a way of being frustrated at the Government's treatment of the little man.  It has now evolved into the crazy arm of the right wing repugnican propaganda machine that is still being powered by sour grapes.   Seriously you retards, get the Hell over it.  Your Dude lost.   Look the "Bush Stole the Election" people were annoying after awhile too okay.  Jesus, shut the Hell up already.   Anyway, I digress.  The Tea Baggers held their first National Convention in Nashville recently and they only pulled in about 600 people.   You get about 6,000 at a Star Trek Convention as a comparison.  I guess the Geeks have more conviction than a bunch of mouth breathing whiners.   The Tea Baggers have become Anti-Obama and stopped being Anti Government like they used to be.  What these talking monkies don't realize is that it's their favorite party, the GOP, that is really the issue.  The President hasn't had a chance to do anything yet because the GOP is pitching a fit at every little thing.  Instead of bitching about the health care bill, try coming up with a solution.  The loudest Republican opponents of anything the President does never offer a solution; they just rail and rant because that's their job apparently.   Bob Corker, Tennessee Senator, is useless as a Legislator.   All he does is pull out his GOP Sour Grape scented flash cards and says things like "Tax and Spend Democrat" "Socialist", etc etc.  These jackholes still think there is a free market out there.  I have news for you, there isn't.   The only markets where true competition exists is the goods and services retail markets and the auto markets.   In retail you have your choice: You can buy clothes at the high end Department stores, go to Ross or TJ Maxx and find the same clothes at close-out prices, find similar items with off brand names for a crapload cheaper at Old Navy, Target or WalMart.   These are your choices.  The range of prices goes from 100 dollars to 5 dollars depending on where and what.  That is true competition.  Car dealers are the same.  What you get for equivalent dollars at one place may not be the same speed wise, luxury wise, etc, but it's still a vehicle that gets you from point A to Point B.   Have you shopped for health insurance?  I have, and trust me there is little difference in price whatsoever.   The Health insurance industry has evolved into a money making machine for stockholders; that's it.   The customer has to pay so much more out of pocket it makes one ask "why do I need insurance anyway?"   If I have to pay 5K out of pocket on top of a monthly premium before the Insurance Company pays a dime, then why pay the Insurance Company?  Right?  You have to because the Doctors are all in bed with the Insurance Co's.   If you don't have insurance, Doctors treat you like you have the freaking plague and need to be put down.  No competition, no free market there.  They have you by the short hairs and they know it.  It's like the Oil Companies.  Gas prices fluctuate depending on what City/Area of the World you are in, but within your town, there's not that much difference.  It's an industry that raises and lowers their prices on a whim, and come up with creative and mind blowing reasons as to why.  Not a free market, not even close.  I'd have more respect for the Tea Baggers if they actually were for a better Government, but they aren't.  Hell their Keynote Speaker was Sorehead Palin for Christsakes!!!  C'mon folks, that bitch is a joke.

Children's "Beauty" Pageants or Didn't they learn anything from Jon Bennet Ramsey????

There's a new show on Bravo I believe that's about parents who enroll their small children, we are talking toddlers here, in these kiddie beauty pageants.  Or as I like to call them Pedophile Victim Shopping markets.  Now the only time I watch Bravo is when Top Chef is on; it's a pretty good show.  Other than that, this is the official network of the Attention Whore.  Real Housewives of "insert big city" here.  These stupid wretches wouldn't know housework if it sat on their faces and wiggled.  Please...they should rename it the Real Gold digging bitches that whine and complain all day.   Sorry I don't feel sorry for your plight in this world one bit.  Try living in Haiti right about now....then I'd feel sorry for you.  Back to the main point shall we.....I guess these nimrod parents didn't learn anything from the whole Jon Bennet Ramsey situation.....little children should not be made up to be "sex" symbols.   Oh but Mr. Ranter, Jon Bennet looked so adorable in her little Cowboy Outfit...no, she didn't.  She looked like a miniature Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.....not something someone under 18 needs to look like.   I wish they'd ban these damn things all together.  Ladies look, there's more to life than being a pretty face okay.  Most pageant queens, either Miss Teen, Miss American whatever, all end up nobodies in the end.  Some get lucky and act or get into showbiz in some form or another, but most don't.   They end up having to scramble to find something to fall back on it life, and hopefully they use the scholarship they receive as winners to go get an actual education......something they can use to earn a paycheck for the rest of their lives.....hey I may be wrong and dear commenters please correct me if I am, but it's just not worth it anymore in this day and age.  Women are desperately trying to break the mold and make their own way in the world...I know, still sheesh.....but it's better than it was.  Crap like these shows just make women look like catty, good for only one thing, gold digging, can't exist without a rich husband to care for them no good losers.  Kind of like Paris Hilton or those Kardashian Hos..... ;)  Ladies, Men are still in charge of everything because you let them........trust me you'd be able to take over real easy, and we just might let you because as you know we Men are inherently lazy......

The Best Show on TV....

Remember way back when I was gaga over Heroes?  Yeah not so much anymore.  It lost it's spot as "Best Show on TV" awhile ago.  I still watch it, and this season it's getting better, but it's just not the same.  I think they need to wrap it up soon before it becomes irrelevant.  Hell, the network it's on already is irrelevant.  NBC tried an experiment that has ended up sending them reeling for something to save their asses.  If you don't know, it was when they took Leno off of the Tonight Show and let him have his own variety type hour at 10 pm....the slot normally reserved for more mature dramas just before the nightly news.  It sucked, and frankly it wasn't the time slot....it is all about Leno just not being funny.  Period.  This is the same network that chased off David Letterman...yeah I be they are smacking themselves silly still over that move.  Anyway, back to the point of this entry; namely the Best Show on TV. 

(Drum roll please......)

Burn Notice.   Hands down one of the most fun hours of TV you will enjoy.  Interestingly it's on USA, which is a division of NBC Universal.  I just don't get how the same company can churn out gold on USA, Monk, Burn Notice, White Collar, etc, and crap on it's main Network?  Boggles the mind honestly.  For those that haven't seen Burn Notice, and honestly why haven't you....., it's a show about a former CIA Operative named Michael Westin who was "burned" by his bosses.  This means you don't exist anymore and if they want to they can off you at a moment's notice.  For now the CIA is content to strand Michael in Miami.  He gets by as a kind of Robin Hood who helps folks in need by employing elaborate schemes and uses all his skills as a CIA Spy to get the job done.  He has two partners that help him out, Fiona GlenAnne and Sam Axe.  Fiona is his ex-girlfriend and a former member of the IRA.  Her solution to most things is by shooting or blowing up the problem.   In one episode when they are trying to figure out how to handle something Fiona says "Can't we just shoot them?"  Sam is a former Navy SEAL and now mooches off retired widows with money while wearing pretty much nothing but Hawaiian Shirts and drinking lots of Mojitos.   Sharon Gless, of Cagney and Lacey fame, plays Michael's Mom.....she's the cigarette smoking, hard drinking kind of Mother who still has her Motherly side.   The banter between the characters is well done, and there is genuine chemistry that makes it chuckle producing.   Many a time we have laughed out loud watching the show.  The show employs great little bits that help the humor.  Michael Westin narrates at various points (played by Jeffery Donovan who was the star of a series I liked alot but was cancelled.  It was called Touching Evil.  Look it up, it was a really interesting series.) and the comments he makes are damn funny.  Also present is the use of onscreen labels to point out who's who.  One episode I was just watching the characters were talking about two potential bad guys they were going to mess with in the episode.  Fiona says one is So and So, the annoying little weasel.  The Camera pauses and the characters name appears across the screen and underneath it says "Annoying little weasel".   Or when someone becomes the gang's client it says "Barry.  The Client."   It adds a small touch of humor to a show with plenty of humor and action in it already.  Fiona is played by Gabriella Anwar and Sam is played by Bruce Campbell (one of my favorite B Movie actors ever.....what honestly drove me to watch the show in the first place.)  It's a bit MacGyver, bit Equalizer, bit Rockford Files all combined.  Give it a try, you won't be disappointed.

Welcome to 2010

So I guess Arthur C. Clarke got it wrong...I mean in 2001 there was no black monolith on the moon or a computer named HAL that killed everyone off on the International Space Station.  Heck here it is 2010 and the Planet Jupiter hasn't imploded and become a second sun and we haven't been warned to not touch Titan for some reason.......oh...am I the only that remembers that movie?  Anyway I digress...here is the first Rant of 2010:

Fitness is a big issue for people in the first 3 months of the new year.  Everyone and his Brother seems to make the resolution to "go to the gym and lose X pounds, etc".  They fork out big bucks to join the gym, go until March, then quit come April.  I personally use two programs on the Wii, My Fitness Coach by Ubisoft and Wii Fit Plus.   My Fitness Coach is more like an interactive work out video than it is a "game".  You set up a profile; weight, height, age, etc then the program sets up a program for you...i.e. weight loss, cardio, etc and you pick the amount of time you work out each time it schedules you.  There are 500+ exercizes built in and they change each time.  You can earn different music and workout locations.....well at least where your Personal Trainer Maya works out at....it's a good program.  I pair it with Wii Fit Plus using the Balance Board.  Some good strength exercizes and yoga too.  The "games" they give you to play really work you out, I especially like the rhythm Kung Fu and and the Biking and the Running.  Although we may look into a gym, for now we have our Wii and our bikes (yet it's too damn cold to go out riding at the present time.).

Okay Steve...where's the Rant....I know I know...getting to it....

Because we are a nation of fatasses, and have you noticed that the stuff that's good for you costs an arm and a leg and the crap is cheap...bastards!!!, there is a huge market for "systems" and gadgets that will get you into shape.  Miracle pills, etc that are available all for "5 easy payments of xxx.xx".   Half of it's crap....okay the majority of it is crap.   I remember one of the first ones I saw....Suzanne Somers and her AbMaster....a spring thing you put between your legs and squeeze them together and it was supposed to tone you up.  Okay...sure it does.  From what I've heard, the Total Gym (hey Chuck Norris pushes it.....) and Bowflex are two of the best machines you can buy for your home.   Have you noticed, that when some yahoo puts out a "system" they bill themselves as a "Fitness Celebrity".  Really?  If it wasn't for your stupid ass being on an infomercial constantly no one would know your name.   Remember the video tapes called "Fitness Made Simple"?   They were in the '90s.  It was a series of work out tapes being pitched by "Fitness Celebrity" John Basedow.   Who????  Never heard of your ass before you started pitching tapes.  I guess not much of a celebrity.  Billy Mays, that's a celebrity, Anthony Sullivan that's a celebrity.  You saw those guys walking down the street, you'd know them...well not Billy Mays anymore, RIP Pitchman.....you saw John Basedow walking down the street you wouldn't know it.  Hell if you saw Billy Blanks...you know the Tae Bo "Fitness Celebrity"....you'd probably not recognize him.   There's only one Fitness Celebrity and that's Jack LaLane.  There's this new chick out now hawking this ab swing thing....it looks like a round disc on a stand with handle bars and from a central spot extends two knee rests.  You kneel on this thing, grab the handle bars, and rock your hips from side to side.   The machine comes with the "Ab Rocker System" developed by "Fitness Celebrity" Something Nicole Lee.........again with the title of "Fitness Celebrity"........honestly folks, from what I hear the best exercize is to walk a half hour each day.   And watch what you eat....yeah I know easier said than done...trust me I haven't met food I didn't like.   Remember Daisy Fuentes?   Thankfully that talentless hack we haven't heard from in awhile.   Oh yes, she was a model I think.....I believe she was a beach volleyball champion too, which is great, but when you think that qualifies you to be on MTV....okay, any monkey with half a pulse could have been on MTV.....or to sing/act/be a host of a show.....sorry no.  For some reason ABC decided to add her to "America's Funniest, Cruel, Embarassing, Attention Whoring Moments caught on tape" because I guess Bob Sagget just wasn't cutting it enough.  Yeah, she killed that show, just like adding Carmen Electra to Battlebots pretty much sent that show to the shit heap.  Side note: Battlebots was a show for Geeks.  Yes Geeks like looking at hot chicks, but when said hot chick....Carmen Electra...not so much.....demands more airtime it kills the show.   We wanted to see robots battling robots not "Carmen Electra's Battlebots 101".  Ummmm these are machines built by guys like Grant Imahara of Mythbusters and yet Carmen Electra is going to tell me in a hair tossing, breathless voice how to build one of these things.   Not likely.  This chick couldn't operate a can opener let alone know how to build a robot.  Side note done....now back to your regularly scheduled rant.

Daisy Fuentes...that's where we were.  So after Daisy lost every job she ever had on TV she decided to go into clothing design and pitching something called "Windsor Pilates".   When I first saw that word written before I ever heard it pronounced I thought it was Windsor Pilate....(pilot), you know, Brother of Pontias.......I still wondered what the hell a Windsor Pilate was.......essentially it's stretching and pulsing in those stretches to work out targeted muscle groups.  Windsor apparently is the person who decided to take stretching and call it someting else...Pilates.   I just don't understand.  

How about all those "magic" pills.....you know the Fat Blocker ones.  Or Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem.    Kirstie Alley is a prime example of what happens when you go off of Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, you end up gaining it all back.   Valerie Bertinelli is managing to stay slim because she exercizes and eats right...she learned the maintenance others don't.  Not saying these systems don't work, but you have to eat their pre-prepared food and you don't learn how to eat out or make it yourself to continue to maintain your weight after you are done with their programs.  Weight Watchers is the best of them I think.  They teach you to eat real food and how much of and what types of food to eat.    The one that scares me is the Alli pill.  A friend's wife started the Alli system.   You take a pill with each meal, up to three a day, and follow their plan and you will lose weight.  Apparently the book that comes with the program is 100 pages long and filled with warnings.  What these pills do is block the body's absorption of a percentage of fat.  The plan says you can only eat so much fat a day based off of what's left after the pill has blocked what it's going to block.  If you eat over that amount, the rest of the fat comes out of your ass as the runs.......yes, this pill punishes you for cheating on "The Program" by making you piss out of your ass.   Nice.   Sounds like what happens when one of the GoG eats dairy.......not mentioning names, he knows who he is.