Wanted: For the Murder of a Goldfish

Look at that sweet little face above. It's the face or a KILLER!!!! My wonderful, and extremely lucky, Step-Daughter decided to play the ping pong ball in the jar with a Goldfish game at the County Fair about a week ago. She won twice!!! We became the owners of two Goldfish. One kacked off the next day (we had the usual burial at sea..."I comend thee to whence you came"...FLUSH!!!!) while the other survived. Off to Petsmart to procur a fishbowl and some food. Liv decided she didn't really want the fish so I adopted it. It lived a day in the bowl, and looked like it was going to make it for awhile (we figured if it lived long enough we could put it in the pond, when it ever gets finished) so we bought some of those glass beads and a little castle thing for it to hide in. The SHE discovered the bowl. Yes the sweet little Miss Panther, our Diva Kitty, discovered that she is obsessed with watching a fish swim in a bowl. She would sit on the dresser and stare for hours. She would smack the outside of the bowl when the fish moved. She even drank a bit of the water (AAGGGGGHHHH Nasy Cat...it's got fish poop in it.....) and then started testing the water with THE PAW OF DOOM!!! Liv said she thought she saw a mark on the side of the fish, but I couldn't see it. Yesterday I was checking on the fish after feeding it a few minutes before and noticed it was still; very still. As in it's mouth was frozen open and it had a Panther Claw-sized hole in it's side that was bleeding. Well I called in Grissom and the team and after the evidence was in we arrested the culprit and threw her in jail. Okay I actually flushed that fish like the other and just looked at the cat and shook my head. Cats are cats. Don't you love them? They are so sweet (most of the time...ie Diva Kitty) but yet when they are in the yard and see something living that is smaller than them, they transform into some big Jungle Cat taking down a hapless Gazelle; well at least in their own little feline brains they do. We see a house cat pouncing on a bird (thanks Pumpkin....loved that little gift you left us the other day.....then they give you dirty looks when you chuck it in the trash, as if to say "but dear Human of mine, I brought you this gift of dead bird and this is the thanks I get!?!?!?!?" Ever notice they get very idignant with you.) Liv now wants to get an aquarium for her room, I suggested she get one with a real good lid. Panther is on parole and looking to kill again.

Wow....Great Article from SFGate.com

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/08/31/DDDTRRK8M.DTL

It's about all of these Celebrity "non-apology" Apologies for all of their screw ups......Great article, and a great Rant. Features input from Miss Manners.....

Premature Burning

So something incredibly ridiculous happened the other day, a guy attending Burning Man set fire to THE Burning Man (ie a 40 foot wooden construct that is shaped like a stick figure) several days before it was slated to be burned. This guy is being charged with felony arson. Even though the item that was burned is going to be burned this weekend by the folks running the event, they are pushing for Felony Arson I guess because this guy did what they were going to do. What the Hell???? So because some drunken/stoned moron stole your thunder you want him thrown in the pokey on a Felony. Even though your event encourages the imbibing of and ingesting/inhaling of substances designed to alter one's state of mind you are punishing this one guy with a Felony because he jumped the gun. Vandalism maybe, because he damaged your property, but not Felony Arson. If he set fire to someone's trailer or tent okay that's arson, but something that was constructed for the whole purpose of being set on fire but gets set on fire ahead of time, that's not arson. I personally don't get this event anyway. It started out as a bunch of Hippies longing for the Summer of Love and Woodstock who went out in to the desert of the Black Rock State Park (which is BLM land so lot's o' restrictions) and smoked much cannabis and drank much alcohol and ate much mushrooms, etc and danced around dirty and partially/fully naked all the while a 40 foot "wicker man" made of wood was set ablaze. Wow!!!! Woohoo....sounds like fun. Never been, but I've never had a desire to go. The person that surprised me by absolutely loving it is the Perfect Line. He goes every year (he may be there now, I'm not sure) and thinks it's great. Although a new breed of "burner" has started to attend and they are more like PL. Yuppie Burners I guess you can call them. The new "hippies" I guess you can call them. Although now that PL has moved to LA and is digging the Club Scene out there, he might not want to be around a bunch o' dirty hippies.


EDIT: Per comments from the Craftsman in the comments section Burning Man was actually started in 1986 on San Francisco's Baker Beach, until they got kicked out for illegal bonfires. Oh yeah, and apparently The Perfect Line likes boobies too. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Good Morning Bloggers!!!

It's been a few days, but I'm back.  I want to start off today by saying to my Wife I was a bit harsh to Miss Teen USA this morning....not all Beauty Pageant contestants are stupid; it just seems like it.  I honestly don't understand these things.  The gist of these Pageants is to further Society's attitude towards Women that it's "all about looks", don't "be yourself, be fabulous".  Whatever.  I've heard many a woman say that they go through "Hell" to look good for men.  Really?  Do you really think that?  Yes, there are some shallow guys out there (you know, the one's that buy their Wives/Girlfriends a Boob job....because "she wants it"...yeah right...) but honestly most of us want a woman we can talk to and to be our companion and friend until we are old and grey and kack off.  I love my Wife the way she is.  Yes she colors her grey, but she does it for her; not me.  I always tell her, and it's the truth, that I could care less if she has some grey....we are in our 40's we are supposed to start getting grey.  We also have a 13 year old Daughter....if that doesn't cause grey hair I don't know what does.  Her comeback is, "I care"....so I don't say anything else after that.  I guess I just want her to understand that she doesn't have to do it for me.  My Wife has never nipped, tucked, expanded, retracted just to make herself look better.  She is sexy just as she is.  I understand a little vanity in people.  You do want to look somewhat presentable.  Hell this morning I had to trim the old UniBrow before it started having a mind of it's own.  I hate that.  Being a Sicilian means I'm a hairy bastard.  I have to shave the space between my brows because if I don't, they will merge into one.  I will look like the Geico Caveman or something.  I always get an eyebrow or two who don't want to conform with the rest of their brethren, on either brow.  These "rebel" eyebrow hairs grow longer than the rest and start extending out of the black patch of brow above either eye like tentacles searching for food or something.  A couple of quick swipes with my trimmers and they are conforming like good little eyebrow hairs.  Then it's off to the nose.  Yeah I know, don't you hate it guys, we are getting like "those old guys" we used to see with the nose hairs you could braid and the tufts of fur coming out of their ears (why the ears????  why does hair grow there when it never did before when you get older?????).  Their are a few nostril rebels like the eyebrow rebels (I think they are in cahoots personally.  It's a facial hair conspiracy!!) who, if left unattended, would grow to my knees.  Ain't happening!!!  Gotta love the nose hair trimmers.   Anyway, back to Miss Teen USA.  These poor girls, they are nervous and unequipped for what they are going through when they are in these Pageants.  They all get coached to try and sound like someone they aren't.  Why did they ask Miss Teen USA her opinion on why she thinks most Americans suck at geography???  Guess what, she's one of those Americans just like every other kid in Public School.  Our Education system in this Country is under funded and therefore our teachers are being under equipped to do their jobs.  Geography isn't stressed like Math and Science.  Our Government loves to practice isolationist policies so no wonder why students have no clue where Syria is, or Pakistan.  They should, because that's where all the insurgents are pouring into Iraq from, but the importance of the World outside of the USA isn't stressed.  But poor MTU, she was coached by handlers to try and sound like she cared and knew the answer.  The poor thing ended up sounding like a moron and of course, you guessed it, it ended up on YouTube to be played over and over again, ad nauseum.  Asking them what they want to do with their Titles and their Lives is a great thing, don't ask them to solve the Country's problems or explain why they exist in the first place.  We all know the answer to that one; one letter "W".  I think I'm against these things because I don't want my Daughter to get the impression that she isn't good enough the way she is.  She is. She's a wonderful young lady, albeit a bit stubborn (okay very stubborn), but that's because she is 13.  It's an evil age my friends.  Ware ye the teenage Daughter.....(Brian and Justin to name two who have young daughters right now, The Discourser is going through it presently). 

 

Michael Vick....what can you say?  Just like Pacman these idiots are given every opportunity in the world and they make stupid decisions; criminal decisions.  But you notice, neither the Titans or the Falcons will come out and say these fools are off the team.  They've never been officially cut from their respective teams yet.  They are suspended by the NFL, but not the Teams.  If these schmucks were on my team and I was the owner......oh you bet your sweet patooty they'd be off that team.  Hey if anything it frees up some Salary Cap money you can spend on someone who isn't going to be a screw up. 

Observations

We Humans are certainly silly Monkeys aren't we? The recent ipod craze and subscription....sorry I mean Satellite Radio confuse me. I understand the portable music player thing, I do. I had a Walkman and a Discman at one time in my life, actually the Discman became my stereo in my Saturn because you had that little cassette looking thing that you could hook to your Discman and play it through your car speakers. I get it. What I don't get is why someone has to get an ipod??? I NEED an ipod Man!!!! My Stepdaughter had 120 bucks burning a hole in her pocket after selling her Gamecube which she rarely played, she'd rather play my PS2, and she had mentioned she wanted an ipod Nano. I asked her if she knew what an ipod really was, I figured some other kid had one and was boasting about it, and she replied that no she didn't really know what one was. I explained it to her that it was a place to put music you purchased from the comptuer on to carry around. The only problem is that with an ipod you had to purchase your music from one place; itunes and that it was always 1.00 and higher per song. She thought about it and decided to not get one. Smart kid. I did some research trying to find cheaper players, and found a crapload of other players that were just as good for as low as 79 bucks!!! The good thing about these is you can go to any number of sites and download music and they sell it sometimes for .40 a song!! So why would you shell out 300 bucks for something where you are limited to one place to buy music when you can pay anywhere from 79-150 for something that gives you the power to comparison shop and get the best deal? That I don't get. There's also an aftermarket of accessories for your ipod; I wonder just how well those folks are doing? I know my knew Boss has a clock radio thing that she can stick her ipod into. The convienience of these things is that they are docking stations where you can recharge your ipod on. But still, this doesn't warrant me buying one. Nor am I going to buy my child one. Some folks may think me mean, but I want to teach her a lesson. She was dying for a pair of those stupid Heely shoes.....I told her that her Mom and I weren't going to pay 70 dollars for a pair of tennis shoes no matter what they had on the bottom of them. We had a Yard Sale, and she sold a bunch of her crap and with the money she made she bought her own pair of Heelys. I then warned her not to bring her wheels to school because her VP would be like the Discourser when he worked at one school; he had a collection of wheels from those stupid shoes. Well about 3 months later the novelty wore off and she hardly wears them anymore. She has a pair of Vans like shoes we got her and she wears those all the time. Now you know why I didn't pay 70 bucks for a damn pair of Tennis Shoes. Besides, those things encourage bad posture...seriously, all kidding aside you have to walk on the balls of your feet to be able to walk in them.....and you'd think they'd make them with the pop down wheels. Anyway, back on topic. So you would think that with the popularity of MP3 players (because that's really what an ipod is an MP3 player with a proprietary format) and the fact that people can download whatever individual song they want and organize them into playlists, that radio would be a thing of the past. No Dear Reader....we now have radio that you have to pay for. Huh????? Yep....radio you have to pay for. It's broadcast via a satellite and you can get your "station" wherever you are. They play a loop of songs in a particular style you like, oh but get this.....there is still a DJ. The benefit? No commercials. Don't most cars come with a CD player nowadays? And don't most of those car stereos allow for MP3 format? I know mine does. It basically allows me to play CD's that I make from audio files that I rip from CD's that I own. I currently took all the Depeche Mode stuff I have and made 3 80 minute CD's worth of all the good stuff. What did it cost me? Not a dime (well okay the 10 bucks I paid for the stack of blank CD's). So why would you pay 10-12 dollars (sometimes more) a month, plus the 200-300 or so for the equipment to listen to the Radio???? Oh and you can listen to the Snoop Dogg hour or some crap like that. Great!!! It's bad enough we have to sometimes hear his unintelligable, stoned out of his mind speech for free, now you can pay for it!!!!!! Oh, and not only do you pay a subscription for the "talk" radio stuff, but it has commercials. Yeah, I can subscribe to hear Howard Stern, pay 12 bucks a month to hear him uncensored and have to sit through commercials. Hell I didn't listen to that Ass when he was on the public airwaves why the Hell would you pay to hear him???? But yet, these same people with their ipods were the same people that used to steal music when Napster wasn't a legitimate business like it is now. I find that humorous. These folks that used to steal music and fill up their computers with it, now have forked out 300 bucks and pay Apple 1.00 a song to do the same thing they used to do for free and illegally. Damn that's funny. These are also the same people that used to listen to the radio for free and now they listen to Satellite radio because they are tired of "Corporate rehashed crap". Ummmmm XM and Sirius, are CORPORATIONS DUMBASS!!!! You are still listening to Corporate rehashed crap, but now you are paying for it. It's like my evil ex-Wife. She used to watch Wrestling like crazy....don't get me started......for free every time it was on TV. Then she used to want to pay 30 bucks to watch the Pay-Per-View "big events" which was essentially like watching 4 hours of the weekly crap. I'm so glad Cat isn't like that. Kind of why we've been married almost 4 years now. Like I said, I get the ipod's, I just don't get paying that much for a music player and have to only go to one company to get your music. It's like Sony with their BluRay DVD format now. BluRay is just Sony's version of HD DVD. Simple. They have their own coding on it though that makes it so you can only view them on Sony BluRay players, whereas HD DVD can be viewed on any player capable of handling an HD format. Didn't Sony learn with the Betamax format of video tape? Yes Betamax apparently was the better format, but which one won out? Yep, VHS, the format that consumers could comparison shop for. BluRay is going to go the same way. Apple gets away with it because they get loyalists who love their products. I will hand it to Steve Jobs, they do make a good product, but so does other Companies. You see PC's in the workplace because it is cost effective to outfit an entire 300-4000 person office with PC's than it would be with iMacs. Apple survives because of a niche market. They rock for making multimedia stuff and graphics work; you can't beat the programs on a Mac. Sony trying to be proprietary with Betamax and now with BluRay won't work because Video tape is video tape and Hi-Definition DVD's are Hi-Def DVD's. The average consumer would rather pay 400 for a HD DVD player than pay Sony 1,000 for a BluRay....or you can buy a PS3 for 600 and get a BluRay player....but why would you do that? Panasonic, Toshiba, Mitsubishi, Philips; these are all great brands, just as great if not better than Sony. Nice try Mr. Matsushita; I think you better go back to business school, your Company will be tanking soon if you don't drop the price on those PS3's and give up on your BluRay. Time for this Monkey to go listen to his old school CD's...........anyone got a banana?

Authors

Cat and I are huge readers.  It's always good when one Bookworm marries another.  While shopping in Books a Million last night (like Barnes and Nobel or Borders for my friends back Home) for more fodder to feed our addiction we noted that some of our favorite Author's just haven't written anything good or at all in awhile.  She likes the Mystery, Detective type stuff where as I like the Sci-Fi/Fantasy stuff.  Over the years we have read our share of the Classics and the Modern Masters, and we've discovered that some of the Author's out there are just not trying anymore.  Tom Clancy is the one for me.  His Ryan Series has been great from "The Hunt for Red October" up until "Rainbow Six".  After that, well he made Ryan the President and is now writing about Ryan's kids all grown up and working for the CIA.  Boring and lame if you ask me.  He has written the story lines for his video games that just completely Rock, but has written no Novels about them.  Hell I'd love to see some "Rainbow Six" novels.  The characters are great on the two teams and they would be great books.  I believe there are about 7-8 video game versions out....those would be great novels.  His Ghost Recon games would make great novels too as would the Splinter Cell games.  Yes I know, there are some Splinter Cell novels out, but they are "approved by Tom Clancy" and written by someone else and from the little bit I've read in the store they read like a walkthrough of the game.  I was first introduced to the world of Sci-Fi and Fantasy in High School with a book called "A Spell for Chameleon" by Piers Anthony.  The only series of his that I would re-read today is the Incarnations of Immortality.  This is a series of books that poses the question "What if all the aspects of the world were a Job."  In other words, what if Death was an occupation held by a person who's job it was to collect the souls of the dying.  Other occupations were Time, A man from the future who lives backwards, Fate, Three women one young one middle age and one old who share the same body and who's job is to determine what an individuals fate in life is.  War, Nature, Evil (Satan) and Good (God) were also represented.  It was an interesting series, but still borderlined on Anthony's closet Pedophile fantasies.  At the writing of this the Xanth Trilogy is about 20 books or so long.  The reason I say he's a Pedophile is because after reading alot of his stuff, myself and other people (alot of other people) have determined that what he (Anthony) explains away as his propensity to be "a harmless dirty old man" is actually his outward expression of Pedophilic tendencies.  One good example, in his series "Bio of a Space Tyrant" not only does he condone sibling intimacy (it was explained away as "okay" because the brother was in pain and the sister did it out of love.???? Yeah right..Perv!!) but his main character in one book at the age of 50-ish is given the "gift" of a poor orphan girl of 15 who he has a intimate encounters with but it's okay because she initiated it.......PERV!!!! Thusly the reason I no longer read his books.  A better author I discovered was a British one by the name of Michael Moorcock and his book "Elric of Melnibone".  I know alot of you are laughing knowingly at that because you read that series as well and it led to your buying Rulebooks for a game by Gary Gygax called "Dungeons and Dragons", but I digress.  Elric was on incarnation of the Eternal Champion.  A person who was doomed to be reborn constantly and he, along with his Companion of Champions (a person with a similar fate), was fated to fight in the Eternal struggle of the forces of Law and Chaos on behalf of the Cosmic Balance.   Sometimes the EC remembered his past lives and sometimes he had no clue.  He was almost always armed with a sword of some kind that had powers.  Elric's was the most famous.  Stormbringer, the 5 foot long, black, rune encrusted, soul eating demon in Sword form who passed a portion of the life energy it drained from it's victims to Elric.  Elric was an Albino and the sword was what he required to give him strength.  He was the perfect tragic anti-hero who had a love/hate relationship with his Stormbringer.  He hated the Sword because it killed friend as well as foe, but loved it because without it he couldn't take two steps.  The Goth kids of today would love Elric....he was very Emo.  I of course had to read Papa Tolkien's masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings.  Anyone that played D & D read it as the game was based on it.  I also read the Sci Fi classic "Starship Troopers" by Robert Heinlein.  God I love that book.  The movie was good, but the book was better.  Also read Frank Herbert's original Dune books. I just can't get in to anything after Heretics of Dune.  That one was good, but not great.  Discovered a great series by an Author named David Eddings called the Belgariad.  Good stuff, but the stuff he's written lately hasn't been that great.  I will hand it to him though, he's always creating new Worlds and Characters.  I then ran across a series started by Robert Asprin and Lynn Abbey called "Thieve's World".  This was a great idea in novels.  Two Author's who act as Editors create a world and sprinkle it with a few characters of their own, then they open it up to some of Sci Fi's greats to add characters to.  You could use someone else's' character in your short story, but you couldn't kill them off; that was reserved for their creator to do.  It was 12 books long and was a great series.  I also picked up Robert Asprins Myth books.  Comedic Fantasy that was great, until........  Mr. Asprin had some heavy crap happen to him.  I believe at one time he was married to Lynn Abbey but that ended badly and he hit the bottle.  After crawling out of the bottle, he continued to write but had to have someone co-author with him.  I've read Saberhagen's Swords Series......awesome stuff but one really needs to read "Empire of the East" first to understand some of the things mentioned in the Sword books.  I will someday although it's one of those you may have to find in a used book store.  I discovered a very cool series by Simon Hawk called the TimeWars series.  12 books long and very easy reads (real short novels).  The premise was that Mankind discovered time travel.  To solve disputes between Nations, their armies were cosmetically altered to fit in with armies of the past.  The Time Soldier was then given brain implant education, period weaponry, then "clocked" back in time to fight on either side of a great conflict.  A unit of soldiers called the "Referee Corps" watched the battle from above and through a complicated scoring system tallied things up and whomever had the most points won the conflict.  The main characters end up becoming an Elite Commando unit who's job was to go back in time and fix mistakes that came about from the Timewars...one example was the man who was to become the Scarlet Pimpernel was killed before that ever happened so one of the Commandos had to pose as him for a bit.  Then someone turned me onto the "Wheel of Time" series by Robert Jordan.  This is a series that started out brilliant but had degenerated into crap.  The Author has a rare blood disease now which has kind of lit a fire under his ass to finally finish the damn thing.  He has what I like to call "Rowling-itis".  He knows what the last scene is going to be, but kept cranking out crap long after he should have wrapped it up to get there.  Not saying Rowling cranked out crap, but she sure took her sweet time in ending the Harry Potter series.  Jordan's problem is that he introduced so many different characters and events that were tangents of the main plot that they have become abandoned or just forgotten.  His main character has been nothing but an afterthought in the last few books and the Female characters he is writing about have become whinier and whinier as time goes on.  Even one of the most pseudo-feminazi characters has become soft and weak.   I'll read the newest one when the last one comes out in paperback.  Get it over quick.  I have recently discovered George R. R. Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire" series.  I've mentioned this series before and it's brilliant.  He's currently working on the next of three more total.  I also mentioned Simon R. Green who's "Deathstalker" series I've mentioned briefly.  It had some great characters, but the ending blew.  He has redeemed himself with his "Nightside" series.  He is apparently writing a new one.  Can't wait.  I've also started reading Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files".  Waiting for the latest "White Knight" to come to paperback as well as "Cursors Fury", the next in his Codex Alera Series.   It's great to see an Author write about a Modern Day Wizard who is a PI in Chicago told in the first person viewpoint then read a Sword and Sorcery Fantasy told in third person and enjoy both.  Good job Jim.  I just picked up the first of an interesting series called "The Vampire Earth" series by an Author named E.E. Knight.  It's about Earth in the year 2065 that has been taken over by an Alien race that feeds of of Human Life Forces.  The character, David Valentine, is part of the resistance movement to take the Earth back.  So far it's shaping up to be pretty good.

Toys of Our Youth

Please click on the title of this post to go to the article that was the food for thought of the following post.

Since I have an about to be 4-year old Grandson, I spend time looking in toy sections for stuff to spoil him with. Hey that's a Nanu's job now isn't it? From the crap I see presented I can see why Toys R Us (the once mighty Toy Store of Doom) is bankrupt and has sold off several stores. I remember when Department stores stopped carrying toys; probably because of Toys R Us which was the Wal Mart of Toy Stores (which is funny because TRU is bankrupt because of WalMart and their disgustingly low prices). I used to love when the Penny's and Sears' Christmas Catalogs came out because the Toy section in them was my shopping list. "Mom!!! Look!! They have a Gi Joe and the Giant Gorilla play set....I NEED THAT!!!" or "Mom!!! Look at that Jungle Safari Big Game Hunter set..." (it came with a cap rifle with scope, a plastic knife in a sheath on a belt, a cap pistol and plastic holster and a plastic Safari Hunter's hat.....). Kids today don't know what toys are. Every Hot Wheels track comes in a "set" of some kind with some bizarre centerpiece that is the whole point of the "set". We just bought packs of Orange Hot Wheels track and the clamp on the table starting piece. We made our own track and gravity was our friend. Hot Wheels got a bit Hi-Tech with the invention of a battery powered car flinger thing. Remember those? It was a plastic starting gate with two sides for two cars and it had spinning rubber wheels that feed your car through at rapid speeds. Kind of like those batting machines or the way a Hop-Up works in an airsoft gun. I remember our toys were a blessing to my Mom. It kept us out of the house and out of her hair. In the now Ghetto Town I grew up in we lived in typical suburban flair. Our houses were separated by a hedgerow and the old adage "good fences make good neighbors" was never more truer than on my Street. Our backyard was fairly good sized, and took a lot to flood it (hey......I needed to make it an ocean because we were playing Shark Hunters after seeing Jaws in 1975). I think until they day the moved in 2001 my Dad was still finding buried green Army Men in the backyard. Our toys were mostly action figure type toys. Or guns. Isn't funny, I grew up with cap guns and rubber knives and we shot and stabbed each other but yet we all turned out to be responsible non-violent adults. What's the excuse for today's youth? The Green Army Men were one of my absolute favorite toys. That combined with Lincoln Logs and Legos was a fertile ground for an overly-active imagination. Of course you had to build fox holes and trenches....it wouldn't be war without those things. Also you'd have to have a mortat hit one of those trenches and bury half a dozen soldiers. Which usually led to the words, "Mom...I need some more Green Army Men." Why do you think my Dad was still finding them years later. We buried alot of those little plastic men. We also had a lot of firearms. Usually cowboy pistols. They sold alot of cowboy six shooter cap pistols back then. We would run around the neighborhood yelling "bang bang...I got you!". We had great rules too. You had to say "I got you" or it didn't count. You couldn't shoot through car windows...we had many an impasse with one kid on one side of the car ducked down looking through the window and another kid doing the same. We had variations of how one could come back to life too. One version was you counted to 20 and you were back in. The other was what we called "War Tag". Your teammate had to tag you for you to come back to life. It was a bit more challenging that way. In our backyard was a massively huge black walnut tree. It was essentially a very old tree who's walnuts were rotten and nasty. We had a network of barricades and shelves nailed up in that bad boy. It was a great fort. Kids now a days would have to have a fort bought for them.....one that required adult assembly and looked like a fort but cost hundreds of dollars. Hell, we had scrap lumber that my Dad had lying on the side of the house, a few of his hammers, and buckets of nails. Dad also built me a club house. A simple four walled structure with a window and a door. It was my Gi Joe Club House. We had an American Flag nailed up inside and Gi Joe product inserts put up as posters. We used to go between it and the tree as our forts. That club house had a real strong roof. Last time I saw it, the blackberry bushes next to it had almost thoroughly reclaimed it for nature. We also had the action figure of all action figures: Gi Joe. Not the puny little plastic dudes from the 80's, nooooooo. We had the 12 inch, scar on the cheek, WWII gear in the cardboard foot locker with painted on hair and his one hand permanently posed to grip the stock of a gun and the other posed to pull the trigger. Then he evolved into the Nam Gi Joe with "lifelike" hair which after years of use started to rub off and he developed a hairline like mine. Balding Joe.... He also developed "Kung Fu Grip" later on which meant that his hands were rubber and flexible. Unlike the little dudes where they sold a zillion versions of the same guy in different uniforms, the big Joe had clothing sets you could buy. Different Service Branch uniforms with hats, boots, guns, grenades, etc. You really needed only one Joe.....I of course had half a dozen. When the first one's came out, it was a white dude with brown hair in the OD green BDU's of the WWII soldier. Later they came out with a Black Gi Joe and you could choose a guy from the four different Service branches. The Navy dude had the blue uniform and the little sailors hat, the Airforce dude had an Orange flightsuit, etc. The coolest play set was the lunar capsule. Remember the days before the Space Shuttle? Astronauts came back to Earth in a space capsule. A vehicle shaped like the speaker Icon on most webpages. This one came with a space suit which I swear was made out of aluminum foil because it was shiny silver, the helmet, boots, breather pack with a tube that connected to a hole in the back of the capsule when you put Joe in there, and a hand held booster pack for space walks. Remember when the first Astronauts had those? It was a fairly large thing too, remember Joe was a foot tall. We used our Gi Joe's to death. Our Joe didn't need to have a separate line of Enemies made for him to fight. No....the enemy was made up. Heck he wasn't even there, just in our heads. I also remember a kid that lived across the street from me. His Mom and Dad were immigrants from Germany so he and his sister were first Generation Americans. His Dad had gotten him Gi Joe stuff from Germany. It was pretty damn scary. His Gi Joe was a Nazi basically. He had an SS uniform with swastika, etc. When he played, his guy was the enemy. Then I had the Marx toys Johnny West line. Cowboy Action figures complete with horses. Also the Gabriel Toys Lone Ranger and Tonto. I still have these sitting in a suitcase in my attic. The condition of these toys (well played with let's just say) means they aren't worth anything. They will probably go to my Grandson when he's a bit older. We also had the Meco SuperHero figures. Marvel and DC. I had Batman with the removeable mask....later versions had the mask as part of the head.....I also had a tarzan guy. The funny thing about that figure was he had a flesh colored body suit on under his loincloth. These were action figures....non-anatomically correct dolls, but because of the nature of the world back then they still had to cover him up. Although the Wonder Woman doll had that great Wonder Woman corset and a barbie sized chest. Odd that. We also had Colorforms. Basically reusable stickers made in primary colors that you were supposed to use on this little background scene that came in the box when you bought them. They also stuck great on the refrigerator and Mom's car windows on the ride home. We also had toys that shot plastic missles. Battlestar Galactica Ships, Micronauts, Shogun Warriors (who remembers those huh? I had Mazinga and Godzilla), the Spiderman web launcher (God I loved that thing. It was a dart launcher you strapped to your wrist. It had a dart (like in a dart gun) that you tied a string on and pushed the button and it shot out and stuck on the wall. I knew many a stupid kid who thought he could climb the rope attached to a suction cup tipped plastic dart. No I wasn't one of them. Of course for added fun we untied the string and just shot them at each other. Those things go remarkable range once you untied the string. Imagine that???? One thing I do remember though; we never once shot an eye out or swallowed any of the projectiles. Kids today? They'd probably end up in the hospital and with a parent suing the Toy maker. We also had improvised toys. Take a straight piece of small wood. Take a clothespin apart (the wood ones) and hammer it on to the stick. Reassemble the clothespin. Notch the end of the stick. Put rubber band under notch and stretch to clothespin. Open clothespin and insert taut rubber band. Aim at friend, open clothespin and fire rubber band at his ass. And Mom wondered why she was always running out of clothespins. Our favorite though was a Garbage can lid as a shield and our neighbors newspapers as throwing ammo. It helped that we lived in a City where they published a local "throwaway" paper and it was delivered free of charge to everyone's home. Nothing like hitting your buddy in the noggin with a wet newspaper. Those were the days!!!

Commitment to Possibly winning more than a handful of games this Season....

So yesterday my Raiders lost to the 49er's.  Having gone to one of these Exposition games between the two Bay Area NFL Teams I know just how fun it is.  The score was 26-21.....not bad actually.  It's a good sign.  Although Ray Ratto of the Chron says that they should stick with Culpepper awhile until Walter is up to speed.  No one is even mentioning or considering Russell.....see my last post as to why this makes me happy.   I still don't get this kid.  Here he could have a chance to start in the NFL, or be a backup for a few games like Vince Young did for the Titans.  He could be living his dream, yet he get's greedy and acts like a freaking Diva.  Hell it took the Titans a few games before they put Vince Young in the spotlight.  The same would happen to Russell....and what Kid wouldn't want to be on a team where your Mentor is Dante Culpepper.......Do you think Steve Young was going to hesitate learning at the feet of Joe Montana???  Hell no!!  That's why when the time came Steve-O stepped right up and kicked some ass.  Montana's shoes were some big ones to fill, but Steve did it.  Hopefully my Boys can make a good showing this Season...they aren't going to be great this I know, but at least possible Wild Card contenders.  I mean the Raiders do hold the record of being the only Wild Card team to make it to the Superbowl and win it.

Rant Coming!!!

As those that know me are aware, I'm a Raiders fan.  Always have been, always will be.  There was much excitement with the news that they picked up the Number 1 Draft JaMarcus Russell from LSU.   He has officially missed training camp and contract talks have stalled.  I guess this stupid little punk forgets which team drafted him.  This is the Raiders, owned by Al "Don't mess with me" Davis.  If you piss off Al, he benches you.  It is your privilege to be picked by his team to play in the NFL.....he doesn't owe you, you owe Him.  I say dump his ass now, and go shopping.  Walter's not a bad QB, and they picked up two others as backup: Culpepper and Cowan.   Al's contention is that he wants a clause that says that of the "guaranteed" 31 Million that Russell wants, the Raiders can get it back if he gets in trouble or doesn't play up to their expectations.  In other words, think Pacman Jones and Michael Vick........these idiots think they can do illegal crap in the off season and it won't affect their careers.  Dumbasses!!!  As bad of a reputation as the Raiders have on the field......you very rarely hear about a Raiders player getting into trouble off the field.  That's because in the world of Al Davis, that shit gets your bags packed and you traded.  I just don't get these kids.  There are thousands of athletes in Colleges around the Country that would kill at a chance to play on the NFL.  This punk gets his dream come true, and he's going to blow it by being greedy.  Yeah, Russell's agents want there to be no stipulation on the money.  In other words, he gets hurt, or in trouble, they still have to pay him.  Good riddance I say.  Tell the punk good luck somewhere else and go shopping for talent that isn't a prima dona.

Chia Head update

As you can see, he's got more hair now than he did in the last picture of him. I'm going to let it grow a bit before I cut it....kind of in a Kid and Play sorta way.

Outsourcing or The Pit and the Pendulum

As predicted by my friend Brian, and I agree with him, all of this affirmative action crap is coming back to bite us in the ass.  Remember before NAFTA (henceforth known as BN) when you used to hear the statement "Look for the Union Label.  Made with pride in the USA."?  Remember when a Corporation would be committing PR suicide by pretty much having their entire product manufactured outside the US?  Oh, it was okay to have a few parts made elsewhere, then shipped here and assembled here, but not the entire thing!  This was all BN.  Then came an idea that looked good on Paper.  Why not have open trade between Canada, the US and Mexico?  We are all on the same damn Continent so why not share the wealth with each other.  Heck, if we did this it might make Mexico's economy just as good as ours that their people would stop sneaking across the border to "take American jobs"?  There was a loophole that alot of people didn't see (myself included); Services were also considered trade able as well.   In come the Corporate number crunchers saying...."Hey Mr.. CEO....what if we move our Factory to Mexico?  There the workers will work for half the wages and we don't have those pesky US Labor Laws to deal with nor do we have Unions to contend with....just think of your profit margin?"  Somewhere in the time period of AN "North American" ended up including China and India.........now you are having Customer Service handled by someone in Bangalore who speaks heavily accented English and has no idea about how to handle the average American.  You have items being manufactured in China, or at least ingredients etc, where the costs there are rising so the Chinese Corporations are cutting corners like their American counterparts and we now on the back swing of the sharp pendulum.   Cats and Dogs dying of kidney failure because a Chinese Corporation "got a deal" on wheat gluten used in the food they manufacture for a Canadian Company that sells their goods in the US.  The wheat gluten was "bad" but it was such a great deal that no one questioned it.  Nice.  I guess we Americans have shown the World one thing; that's how to cut corners and be cheapskates.  Now we come to the latest fiasco from our Chinese partners; Mattel and unsafe toys for kids.  9,000 toys have been recalled because they were manufactured in China with paint that contains lead and magnets also made of lead.   The head of the Corporation that made the toys has committed suicide; apparently like in Japan the only way to deal with bringing shame to the "family" (they consider the Corporation "Family") is by taking your own life as a consequence.  Hmmm....makes you wonder.  If it was required of these CEO's a members of the Board of American Corporations to kill themselves when their insidious business practices go awry, would the amount of Outsourcing decrease?  Bet it would.  For my part, I try not to shop at Wally World....I really try not to.  If I do shop there, it's to buy stuff that is made here.  I've discovered that they sell a crapload of automotive products that are a dollar cheaper than your average "Kragen" type store and have more selection.  I like to put synthetic oil in my cars.  It's not made from oil, so therefore I'm not using as many petroleum products as I used to, and therefore sticks to the parts a lot better and there's always more of a coating on those metal parts in the morning when starting the car than there would be with conventional oil.  I delude myself that I'm "doing my part" but actually I am.  My car gets great mileage, so therefore I consume less gas in a week than someone with say a Cadillac "Behemoth".  But I digress.  Wal Mart is the biggest culprit in all of this.  They operate at somewhat of a loss but still make a profit.  Although the latest Wall Street report I read said that even Wally World is not making their quarterly earnings this time around.  Now that's scary.  The Moron loves to tell us the economy is doing fine while his Oil Company buddies have bent us over and rode us hard.  Hell they didn't even kiss us or buy us dinner first!  All of this is bringing the Anti-Alien sentiment to the surface to the point where more folks will start thinking the KKK has the right idea.  (God I hope it doesn't come to that....).  Better start stocking up on the Ammo and firearms my Friends.  If someone doesn't put a halt to this Outsourcing crap, or at least put some restrictions on it, there will be another Civil War.

America, Monkees and Jim...

The other night Cath and I were strolling around the shopping center near the house after finishing a somewhat disappointing meal at O'Charley's when we decided to stop in at Best Buy. Kind of like Friday's for my friends back home where we don't have O'Charley's. We both ordered a 7 oz sirloin and we were brought something small and shriveled that was difficult to cut and a bit tough. We had a bad lunch experience at the O'Charley's inLebanon (with all the wars going on there no wonder.... ;) Just kidding, I mean Lebanon, TN) where the waitstaff basically disappeared and customers were sharing their butter with each other and getting their own silverware off of other tables.....needless to say (too late I've just said it) we got our meal for free. Anyway, back to the story. We stopped in at Best Buy because we've been having conversations lately about Music. Thus our impulse purchase of a Monkee's DVD. You don't hear that much of the old 60's 70's stuff anymore, you know the stuff that used to be Classic Rock which has now been replaced by Ac Dc and Rush....odd that these bands are "classic" now. Rhino Records has been doing their best to preserve old stuff for years. Odd things, I have the double CD Dr. Dementos Greatest Hits.....ah the good Dr; I wonder if he's still around. Looks like a job for Wikipedia later. We picked up three great CDs. America Greatest Hits (gotta love Horse With No Name....but I've always wondered....you're in the desert with nothing to do....Name the Damn Horse already!!!), Essential Monkees and Jim Croce's Greatest Hits. God I'm loving this stuff.

Ch-ch-ch Chia.....

The Chia Head like object you see sits on my desk. It was a Birthday gift from Olivia. It's fairly hysterical actually. I've been emailing her and Cathy daily Hair Growth reports. We have determined that he looks a bit like one of my co-workers, who agrees and is going to find an Ohio State bandanna to put around his neck.

The Discourser reaches 300

And he looks good for his age.....naw.....click on the link and go read the Discoursers historic 300th post. There's no steroids controversy nor will there be any question about this milestone......Congrats!! (For the record, this is 211 for me.....)

Morning Funny

HOW TO POOP AT WORK:We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. Forthose who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for takinga dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know whereit came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the fullfart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY:This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walkin and check for other poopers If there are others in the bathroom,leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into thebathroom.

ESCAPEE:This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden waveof embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gunpace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this shouldhappen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits thewater. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you havejust stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best topretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can beavoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it.You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look aroundthe office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor thewhereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly ofthe opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sexentering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stalland tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking andvulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you willavoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom thatyou are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up aWATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Coughis very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potentialTurd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove alldoubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash whenhitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feela Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in thetoilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Coughwith an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger aroundforever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of themirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

We hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of life.

New Car!!!

Yep, we are the owners of a new 2007 Ford Focus. It's Cathy's car actually. She deserves it. When one is selling Real Estate, one should be driving a nice car....or at least a decent car. We actually got it for 2.9% APR......better than what I got on mine. It's a real nice looking smoke grey color and has some decent pick up. Also gets 34 mpg on the freeway and 27 around town. Not bad at all.

Barry breaks the record

As of last night, Barry Bonds has the most career home runs of anyone in the history of baseball. Whew!!! Now we can go back to our regularly scheduled lives......

Click on the blog title to go to the SFGate.com Bonds page to read all about it.

Barry Ties Hank Aaron.

Yep....he's finally done it. Barry has hit 755 Home Runs in his entire career. Good for you Barry, now hit one more to break the record and retire so the Giants can get some young guys and build a winning team. Just like Maguire when he was on the road to hit 73 in one season, Bonds' home runs don't really mean anything. The G-Men are cellar dwellers and the season is lost. I will say one thing though; it's one of the rare occassions I can turn the TV on in Tennessee and see my Boys on ESPN.

Fun Weekend

Saturday was a no Sales Tax weekend here in Tennessee. Now back home we didn't have these kinds of things (occassional stores would have a "we pay the tax" sale but that was it) because when you live in a State with State income tax, they want as much money as they can get. We have a couple of these a year, usually during back to school time. It's limited though, so don't go thinking you can run out and buy that new boat....wrong answer. It's usually on School clothes (or any kind of clothes really) up to 100 dollars. Computers too, up to a certain price. As it was this special weekend, my oldest Step-Daughter Amanda brought my Grandson Jay and her Fiance Drew down to go shopping. Liv, of course, loves to hang out with her big Sis so she went too. Which left the day for me and Jay to go do Nanu and Grandson things. The boy will be 4 next month, but I swear to you the things that come out of his mouth are very advanced for such a young boy. He has great vocabulary and speaks very well for a 4 year old. He's been wanting to go fishing ever since we gave him his Mother's old Snoopy fishing pole. Well the pole, being 20 years old, wasn't working all that well. So his Nanu (me) promised him they'd go shopping for a fishing pole. We made the excursion to Dick's Sporting goods. I had a backpack full of Jay stuff; extra clothes, snacks and of course we had to bring a drinking vessel filled with water (it was damn hot) and Tyson as well. Tyson is a stuffed bulldog plush toy that had to come along. We made room for Tyson. As we were driving off, Jay tucked securely in his booster seat and buckled in, Jay asked me where we got the new car from. I told him this is the same one I've always had. He then asked..."Oh...then why does Nana drive all the time?" Very perceptive Child. Off we went to Dicks and Jay picked out a Scooby Doo fishing pole, complete with Mystery Machine shaped tackle box and a rubber fish casting plug for practicing (let's just say the kids got an arm....I had to get that thing out of the trees in the front yard a number of times). We next visited Nana at Ross where Jay proceeded to tell Cathy in front of her boss on the way out "Don't work too late Nana." Cath's boss thought it was great. From there it was off to Cedar Creek Sports Center, our local Family run batting cages, driving range, putt putt golf, bumper boat and go kart racing place. Prices are cheap too. A round of golf for Jay and I was 5 bucks. Of course, Jay took one look at the Go Karts, hit the golf ball twice and said "Nanu, let's go on the Go Karts." The owner of the establishment was nice enough to let us resume our game whenever we wanted. We did the Go Karts twice with Jay saying "Go faster Nanu" the whole time. Then we played an almost full round of golf. After that it was into the arcade to win some tickets for prizes. My Grandson still needs to learn the concept of "roll" the ball when it comes to Skeeball....not throw the ball...... He also likes Air Hockey....."Look Nanu, the air makes it float...." it's amazing to see someone else's perspective on things. He will be 4, he's never seen Air Hocky in his life. It's pretty damn cool when you are 4 how air blowing through holes can make a plastic disc float. Then it was off to the local park across from the house and back home. Whew!!!! Never thought a 3 and a half year old could wear ya out.....

Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 42 years old, and you know what? It is just another day. So many people fear getting older that it becomes quite sad to watch the lengths they go to in holding off the inevitable; we don't live forever so make the best of your life every single day of it. People primp, lift, staple, fold, dye, etc etc.... Some of it is a vanity thing (my wonderful Wife hides her grey with hair color....I tell her she doesn't have to, but she just doesn't like the way it looks on her so she does.) okay actually most of it is a vanity thing. It's mostly women, although some men can be just as bad. They have had it beaten into their heads through print and visual media that the "perfect" woman has perky breasts, smooth skin, and an un-naturally thin body, but with large breasts......like Barbie. A doctor once wrote that if Barbie was a real woman she'd have the worst posture issues ever. She'd literally snap in half. A waist that small is out of proportion with the shoulders and breasts. The human body is symetrical. A thin man has thin shoulders and a thin waist. A heavy, stocky, fat man has wide/broad shoulders and wide/broad hips. Women are the same. The larger (naturally large) breasted women have wider hips, smaller, have smaller hips. Women seem to think we men like ginormous breasts....honestly, most of the men I know don't really care. Don't get me wrong; men are fascinated by breasts.....it's hardwired into us. It's probably the breast feeding urge when we were babies that we didn't seem to lose. I refuse to be one of these folks who fights their age (although I do need to lose some of the weight that has settled on the old chasis, and that's for health reasons since it is unhealthy to be overweight.) I jokingly tell people I'm having anniversaries of my 25th birthday, but if asked I will tell you my age. Hell I'll volunteer it. I relish being as old as I am. It lets me be the spoiler when "these kids today" start getting all excited about something that is "new".....it usually isn't, and I will be the first to say "we had those. They died out quick because we thought they were stupid." It's great to watch them wilt because the cool new thing they thought they discovered is ancient. Mean aren't I? Go back and read my post about today's youth and my opinions of the lot of them and you will see why I'm that way. I can't wait until I'm eligible for a Senior Discount. I'm going to milk that crap for every discounted cent I can get boy. Just wait. My Dad does it now, and I love it. Dad doesn't look like he's 68 years old so often times they don't offer the Senior Discount to him. He makes sure they do by often saying "uh Excuse me. I'm a Senior, where's my discount?" I love it. These kids who are usually behind the counter are afraid of offending someone by offering a Senior Discount. Wimps. Hey Grandma, you got wrinkles and grey hair....guess what? You're a freaking Senior Citizen. Deal with it! Being old doesn't mean you have to stop enjoying life. Doesn't mean you have to lay down and wait to die. Screw that!! I may not be able to keep up with the young ones, but I'm like that old bull in that joke. Ask me, I'll tell it to you some time. Look at the landscape of celebrity in our Country lately. Women in their late 30's - 40's are becoming sex symbols (like they should. My Wife is a year older than me and she is still damn sexy!!) All the young "hotties" are becoming wrecks. In and out of rehab, whoring around with anything that moves, all caught on tape for the world to see. If you notice too, all the young one's are fading away a lot quicker than their predecessors did. It's because alot of these young actresses/singers whatever you want to call them don't have any real talent. Brittney Spears....mediocre pop star who was only loved by young girls, but yet tried to appeal to Dirty Old Men....sorry hon the DOM just want to see you naked not listen to your crappy music. Marketing they called it. But guess what? If Mom, the keeper of the key to the treasury finds the item you are marketing to be a bad influence on her little girl, all the Marketing in the world won't help you. Jessica and Ashley Simpson.......talentless hack who's Father basically whores them out so he doesn't have to work. What a nice Dad. "here Honey, dress like a slut and act like a whore and Daddy will split the money with you..." Bastard should be ashamed of himself. Lindsay Lohan....why do people keep casting this girl in movies? Everyone she has been in sucks. They put her with a great cast in Georgia Rules (well with the exception of Hanoi Jane) but the movie tanked at the box office. C'mon. It's like putting Madonna in a movie. It will tank so badly you won't see it coming. She's a great musical entertainer. She should stick to that. Her best movie was Evita and that's because she sang the entire movie (It being a Musical and all). It used to take decades for the young, hot celebs to hit bottom. Now it's a matter of weeks!!! To be fair, there are a few that actually do have talent. Keira Knightly, the girl that plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, Dakota Fanning.......these young ladies have a future (although Keira better pick some better movies when not doing a Pirates movie....some of her other choices have sucked). Why do they have a future? Because they have talent. Look at Christina Aguillera for instance. She burst into the music scene making dance music for adults. Yeah she dressed slutty, but she was marketing her music for the club scene, not little girls. Nowadays she's a married woman and dressing more like someone from the 40's. Complete reinvention, but still marketed for adults. There's no confusion there. Getting older is a blessing as far as I'm concerned. Honestly, I'd rather have another birthday than the alternative.

Freedom of Expression

One of the wonderful things about living in this Country is our Bill of Rights.  The First Amendment to the Constitution is about that very thing.  Freedom of Speech, or expression.  There are sometimes when the exercising of this right is a brave thing to do; speaking up against the War in Iraq, giving one's real opinion of the idiot running our Country.  These are brave and just uses of one's First Amendment rights.  Then we have the idiots.  The one's who should just be shot, who's opinion no decent human being cares about.  The KKK is one group of idiots, as are the Neo-Nazi's, skinheads, Louis Farrakhan, Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton......you know; hate mongers.  Yes, believe it or not, Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson and Lou Farrakhan are just as bad a keeping the Racist Pot stirring in this Country as the KKK and the Nazi's.  Some forms of expression are....interesting to say the least, but harmless.  Others make you cringe to see it (multiple piercing of parts of one's body......).  Tattoos are one form I don't understand, nor do I find attractive.  Cat has none.....the Hellspawn had one but it was easily concealable.   I don't understand the women that want to have their entire arms tattooed from shoulder to wrist.  Why?  It's not remotely attractive.  It reminds me of some Hells Angel or something like that.  It doesn't look remotely feminine, and let's face it guys....we like our women to look feminine every once in awhile....it's what attracts us to them to begin with.  These hard fighting, tattooed chicks are just too manly...... if we wanted manly we'd all be gay.  I've mentioned the piercing a bit ago.  Other than one's earlobes (and I still don't know why you'd do that but hey when I was in High School, a guy had to have the correct ear pierced or he was considered gay.....) why would a person want to put a hole then a metal object through the following:  nostril (when a person with a nose ring takes their nose ring out and blows their nose, does snot come out the hole??? I've always wondered about that), nipple (ummmm Ladies.....the best way to have a guy not touch them is to pierce them.....), genitalia (OUCH!!!  We are talking metal spike, sensitive area......NO....not in this lifetime or any other), tongue (yes I'd like to talk like I have speech problems.......), chin, lip, eyebrow??? (that's just damn silly now....eyebrow....why???).  Bumper stickers are the next form that can be really stupid.  The Jesus fish too......I'm glad you are a Christian, but man do you have to advertise it all the time???  You see these local Dentists and Mechanics and such on TV and they advertise their business, and right on the bottom of the screen is a Jesus Fish.....makes me not want to go to your shop.  Same with putting up scripture on the message board outside your business.  I won't go to that store like I won't shop at the nursery with the Confederate Flag.  Politics and Religion are personal things: DO NOT ADVERTISE THEM!!!!  Some bumper stickers are amusing.  One I truly love says "Jesus Loves you.  Everyone else thinks you're and Asshole."  I also like the Darwin Fish....kind of a snub at the Jesus Fish.  There is also the Alien "Fish"....it's two Jesus Fish end to end making a flying saucer with the word "Alien" inside.  Guess the Christians don' t have much of a sense of humor....they have come out with a Jesus Fish eating a Darwin Fish.  Kind of vengeful don't you think?  Not a real good example of Jesus' teachings, you know turn the other cheek.  I think it's funny that Christians get pissed and become very un-Christian when folks exercise their Freedom of Expression and voice their distrust of their beliefs.   I've always thought the "My kid is a honor student at....." bumper stickers were stupid too.  I'm glad you are proud of your child, but keep it to yourself.  The only people that care about those things are: you, your Spouse, the Child, the School, and possibly a College admissions board.  The rest of us could care less and think it's arrogant of you to go bragging.  I like the response bumper stickers to that "My kid beat up your Honor student...."  or better yet "My kid got your honor student pregnant..."  that one was pretty bad.  Damn funny, but bad.  What prompted this discussion was the one thing I think is the stupidest accessory to put on a car.  This item is usually on a big pickup truck, and usually under the tow hitch.  Some moron, somewhere decided that a fake set of testicles swinging from the bottom of a tow hitch was a "great" thing to put on your pick up and drive around in. Oh yeah, really great......thanks for that.  Makes parents everywhere have to explain to their children what it is.  Honestly, it's as bad as someone watching porn on a DVD player while driving.  Certain things are censored, or you have to be a certain age to view them....so why is this shit allowed out in public?  A woman can't go walking down the street topless or a man bottomless without circumstances; so why can these morons drive around with fake, male genitalia (at least a portion of) hanging off their trucks?  The oddest version of this I saw was on a truck that had to be driven by a Gay Cowboy.  It was a taxi yellow truck with the fake sack hanging off the hitch (in yellow of course), a rainbow pride bar on the back window and a Cowboy Up sticker right below it.  Gay Cowboy.  That's another one that is dumb: Cowboy Up...... what a dumb statement.  I'm still working on designing a come back sticker that has a guy with a smoking gun standing over a dead cowboy that says "Cowboy Down".