Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Ads and Advertising.










Behold the picture of the Salesman of the Centure....it's true. Ron's my Hero. This guy started with the Ronco Pocket Fisherman and the Ronco Record Vacuum in the 70's...for all you little kiddies out there thats Record as in Vinyl album.....he had tons of crap coming out all the time. He was the originator of the term "now how much would you pay?" This guy has made a mint convincing us we need to pay, in 4 installments of 19.95, for his useless plastic gadgets. Okay...yes I'm guilty of once owning a Popeil Pasta Maker.....



In all seriousness though, you gotta love Ron.....you see that Showtime Rotisserie oven of his, and you can't help but say to yourself "Set it, and forget it...". You know you do.






Remember the Ginsu Knife....it slices, dices....you can cut through a nail and still slice a tomato paper thin......






Lately we've been having some fairly bizarre items appear on our TV....some that are truly funny.









Ah yes...One size fits all....that's right it's the Sunggie! Yes, you too can purchase a backwards bathrobe with big sleeves that makes you look like a reject from some Cult. Seriously you look like you stepped out of the Spanish Inquistion Skit. (Google Monty Python for the reference). Seriously for 20 bucks you can scare your neighbors as they think you are going to sacrifice small animals to Satan or something. Hell, just get a fleece blanket......we got some on sale at Penney's for 7 bucks a piece.....or better yet, put on a damn sweater......




Speaking of Spokesmen........




Don't you want to stick an ice pick in this guys head everytime you see him on TV? Seriously, I don't think Billy Mays has an inside voice. This guy yells more than Dora does! He talks in all Caps for Christsake!! I think that the only way any of the stuff he sells works is if you yell at it at his volume. Oxy Clean uses the power of oxygen; the oxygen coming out of Mays' lungs at full volume that is.....


Then there's this Douchebag....



Oh yeah...the Vinnie the ShamWow guy......hey the Shamwow is German and you know they make quality stuff.......this guy reminds me of all those guys you see at the County Fair in the Commercial buildings selling crap just like this......or doing cooking demonstrations with new, non-stick cookware......or even demoing a Ginsu knife.....they talk fast, they know all the tricks, and odds are if these guys didn't look normal they'd be working a Carny somewhere trying to get you to throw darts at a balloon.

I love the other ads that we are subjected to as well. I remember a Gillette ad that was like mind control or something. It was in Black and White with all these images of their razors, and sports cars, and hot chicks and it was narrated by some guy in an almost hypnotic voice talking about quality, and class, and being cool and the tag line was "I need to have that feeling again...." I stopped using Gillette razors (the Mach 3, etc) ones awhile ago when it got to the point that the replacement razors cost more than the damn handle itself!!!! Seriously the handle plus 2 razors costs 7.99 - 9.99. Four replacement blades cost in this range, depending on the color scheme.....15.99-22.99.....WTF??? If you have the vibrating one, those are green and orange, they cost more than the grey and blue ones for the non-vibrating handle. Guess what, the freaking blades are the same damn thing but with different colors!!!! I go to Sam's and buy the disposable ones (shut up you whiny Eco freaks......one way or another metal and plastic are going in the landfill....)......you get 32 blades for about 25-30 dollars.

The ads I truly love, are the one's that make me laugh. If you are going to advertise to me, entertain me. The Bud Light "Real Men of Genuis" radio ads are some of the funniest ads around. I actually turn them up so I can hear them. I don't drink Bud Light, nor would I if you paid me, but their ads are damn funny.

The ones I hate, are when they work ad placement into a TV show and they aren't real subtle about it. On CSI they drive Yukons. You see the company Badge on the car, and even see the name of the make of the vehicle on the side in the shot sometimes, but it's logical for it to be there because the actor is getting stuff out of the SUV speaking lines. Then you will see a few ads for the Yukon during the commercial break. That's subtle. In the second season of Heroes, Claire was driving a Nissan Rogue. This was pointed out to us blantantly by Noah, her Dad, saying "Claire I bought you a new Nissan Rogue". When it was stolen, she said "Sorry Dad, they Stole the Nissan Rogue". Way to make me almost not watch a show. Damages and Leverage did the same thing. Cadillac sponsors Damages, and they had Glen Close getting into her Escalade Hybrid (they pointed this out very blatantly) and their was a Mini Cooper parked next to it.....she basically said the commercial (there's a commercial where they compare the City MPG of the Hybrid Escalade to the City MPG of the Mini Cooper) word for word. Okay, so a scene in a good Drama that had nothing to do with the current episode, or any episode for that matter, was turned into a commercial....the same damn commercial they showed during the next commercial break. In Leverages they have been driving a Hyundai Genesis.....talked about a lot during that particular episode.....they even showed them playing around with the GPS screen and this little Hyundai Genesis screen came on........

I know these cable networks don't have the big budgets the Networks do, but give me a freaking break okay!!!

3 comments:

Wayfarer said...

Stop using disposables. Use a double-edge razor. Replacement blades are cheap (they top out at about 45¢ each). Small learning curve, but you might find as I did (when I switched to a straight razor) that shaving becomes pleasant, not a chore.

supergoober said...

Good rant. My favorite commercials are the ones that make someone look like a total idiot doing it the "OLD" way, and compare it to the "NEW" way...providing you buy their product.

The best one I saw was someone boiling pasta the "OLD" way...you know, in a pot of boiling water. They shot it in black and white and the woman looked angry and overwhelmed with all the steam and apparently had great difficulty pouring the pasta into the collander given it splashed everywhere and pasta went flying all over the place. In the end, her hair was a complete mess and she looked depressed and appeared at her wits end...soo funny.

This depiction is soo absurd it should be an offense to anyone's intelligence. If you can't cook pasta without being driven to suicidal panic you should be institutionalized.

Steve T. said...

"This depiction is soo absurd it should be an offense to anyone's intelligence. If you can't cook pasta without being driven to suicidal panic you should be institutionalized."

Thanks P..that's funny!!!