Thanksgiving

A truly American Holiday. In the late 1600's a group of Puritanical Brits were angered at the only choice of religions to practice was the Church of England. Hmmm....a Government forcing one kind of religion on it's people.....hmmmm sounds a bit familiar doesn't it???? So these disgruntled Prudes hopped a ship called the Mayflower and set sail West. They landed on Plymouth Rock (Plymouth Rock didn't land on them....) and started a colony (the precursor to the Original 13). The local natives brought them food and helped feed these pale skinned people throughout the Winter. How did they thank them?? By stealing their land and eventually inviting more white people over to steal more land. How do we commemorate this event?? We gather at our Families houses and gorge ourselves on Turkey (BTW, the domestic Turkey is the stupidest animal known to man and deserves to be killed and eaten. Just saying.) but before that we watch a Parade sponsored by a Department Store with giant balloons, then watch football, then comes the eating. After eating, we usually pass out on the couch, unbutton the top button of one's pants, and slip into the bliss of a food coma. Then the next day we wake up at the butt crack of dawn and go shopping. We really don't need to do this, but yet we do. I simply refuse to go to a retail establishment on that day because I have no desire to deal with shoppers turned into agressive, infantile, rude jerks. This would be a day I got arrested for pummeling the crap out of some idiot. Ah the Holidays!!!