Dear Hollywood,
You are cordially invited to please pull your collective heads out of your asses and to please kindly get a clue. Remakes of movies from the 70's are a waste of your money; and ours. In the past 5 years there have been numerous remakes of 70's and early 80's movies. Amityville Horror, When a Stranger Calls, Poseidon, The Hills have Eyes and finally on 6/6/06 The Omen. STOP it now!!!!!! Don't you people have any creativity left in you???? Having Peter Jackson remake King Kong was a good choice, but it was 3 freaking hours long and felt like it!!!!!! Unlike the Lord of the Rings Trilogy which were all long movies but were entertaining and engaging that you didn't notice, King Kong was drug out way to much. You should have spent the money on having him make The Hobbit. You'd be buying a new private plane by now. I am glad to see that you are tapping into a well deserved medium; Comics. Also glad to see that you are actually putting some money and thought into the movies you make of our beloved childhood Super Heroes. The earlier attempts on TV and some movies were so lame that we wanted to execute you. What happened to all the good Comedy's???? Now they are remakes of old ones and they often have sequels which are just as lame as the first attempts at the remakes. Oh yeah, stop with the movies with numbers after the title okay???? If you are going to make a Sequel, think of another name for the title other thant "Blah blah 2: The Quest for More Money". All James Bond movies are sequels essentially, but they all have different titles. Think about it. Stop trying to pass off Soft Core Porn as some "Well acted love story". You make a movie about Gay Cowboys in denial, who ruin other peoples lives because of a lie and you call it "A well acted, romantic love story". No. It's soft core gay porn. Simple as that. An action movie is an action movie. A horror movie is a horror movie. Paris Hilton kills movies. She sucks (literally and figuratively) and is a useless human being. The remake of House of Wax looked interesting until I saw that Paris Hilton was in it. Thusly the reason it bombed. J-Lo kills movies. The only reason I saw Jersey Girl was that she died in the first 5 minutes of it. J-Lo is a talentless hack. Owen Wilson kills movies. He plays a stoned, surfer dude in whatever movie he is in. Need to look at some more novels for ideas of movies. Read my blog entry about movies that shoul be made. Trust me, there will be an audience. A big one. Ben Affleck doesn't play Super Heroes well at all. He's an OK actor, his friend Matt Damon is much better. Oh, and when making Tom Clancy novels into movies, don't screw around with timelines and character ages. Chavez is a much cooler and deeper character than he was in Clear and Present Danger. Willem Dafoe as John Clark?????? Did you even read the book??? Clark is more like Bruce Wayne....built like a brick shithouse. Not Willem Dafoe. Sum of all Fears. Great book, the suckiest Clancy movie I've ever seen. Should have stuck to the book, it would have been an awesome movie. A comedy starring Johnny Knoxville; anything starring Johnny Knoxville for that matter: don't bother. Stupid and lame and frankly not funny. STOP remaking old 70's TV shows into movies. Starsky and Hutch....you made a cop show a comedy????? WTF???? Dumbasses. Dukes of Hazzard....why did you bother??? BTW, Jessica Simpson, not attractive at all and dumber than a bag of hammers. Also untalented to boot. Biggest waste of your money would be to put Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Johnny Knoxville, Owen Wilson and J-Lo in a movie. You could call it "It Came from Hollywood and it Sucked". You wonder why people don't go see movies that much anymore.....they SUCK!!!! Scary Movie 4, Another Date Movie.....STOP NOW!!!! Enough okay. Just make them straight to DVD. Save you some cash, trust me. That shit was funny for 5 minutes the first time. Talk about beating the lifeless, bloody corpse of the dead horse. Tell George Lucas and Spielberg that they don't know what they are doing any more. They were great at one time, but got so lazy that when they decided to make movies again...they all ended up sucking. I will not aknowledge that there were Star Wars Episodes 1, 2 & 3. Sorry, they didn't exist. Novel idea though, making an amusement park ride into a movie. Haunted Mansion sucked, but Pirates of the Carribbean was excellent. I think the sequel will be good too. Make more Pirate movies. They are always good. Don't make another Cutthroat Island or Pirates of Penzance. Real Pirate movies. The only good movies, consistently seem to come from a place called Pixar. Why? ORIGINAL IDEAS!!!!!! Aging SuperHeroes.....brillant!!!! We need more Good Morning Vietnams and Stripes and Ghost Busters. Didn't see RV, but I heard it was a good Comedy. For once. See you can do it. It seems to me that you are using the "put a thousand monkies in a room with typewriters and you will get shakespeare" mentality when it comes to green lighting scripts. Start hiring David Chase, or any of the folks that Write TV shows for CBS: Criminal Minds, Numbers, CSI (the original). If you don't know who David Chase is, he is the creator of The Sopranos. One of the best TV shows in decades. Honestly it is. Take the hint guys. Stop spewing out crap and start getting creative again. Lord of the Rings Trilogy in my opinion has been the closest thing to a Masterpiece to come out of Hollywood in a long time. Where are the Deer Hunters and Godfather's??????? So in closing I'd like to say this one thing: stop with crap and start cranking out quality again.
Sincerely,
A disgruntled Movie Buff.
PS: Keep your damn politics to yourself too. We don't care and it makes you all look like whiney assholes.
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