Language

I have some amount of pity for immigrants to this fine Country of ours when trying to learn the English Language. It's hard to keep it all straight for us that speak it fluently!!!! For example: Two, Too and To. Why three ways???? There, Their and They're.....again huh???? We come up with alot of made up words too. Deplane...which is the action of getting off of an aircraft. When you get on the aircraft they call it boarding......not planeing.....so why is it deplaneing?? Shouldn't it be unboarding or simply exiting, or how about getting off? It's like all the legalize that makes a legal document so bloody hard to read...it's wasteful and useless. What got me on this subject is that one of my co-workers, knowing I love examples of stupid language, pointed out something from our Safety/Emergency preparedness (there's another one of those made up words) manual. According to this manual, there is a list of circumstances when you don't have to do CPR. One of them is if the person has become Decapitated. I will let that sink in for a minute. So you don't have to do CPR to somebody who has had their head cut off. Really?????? You don't say??? I thought you did a tag team kind of CPR in that situation. Someone pushes up and down on the heart while someone else breathes into the mouth of the head.... Honestly was this a necessary statement to put in writing. Is there someone out there who is stupid enough to think that a headless body needs CPR and that said CPR will revive the headless body???? If there is such a person; he/she needs to be castrated so they don't breed and pass along their stupidity. Oh and another situation on the list when you don't need to do CPR is if Rigor Mortis has set in. Let that one sit there in your brain for a sec. So if the body has been dead long enough for it to stiffen up then CPR is going to do no good whatsoever. Unless you are Jesus Christ or have his ability to raise the dead; CPR ain't working on a stiff. Of course if you want to put your lips on a corpse, that's something completely different and it's illegal. Again I ask....was this language necessary?? It's like the coffee urns: Caution: Contains Hot Liquids......no shit!!! I hope so. It's a coffee urn and there better be some damn hot coffee in there.