Emily Post is Rolling in Her Grave

Manners,

2. manners,
a. the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc.; mores: The novels of Jane Austen are concerned with the manners of her time.
b. ways of behaving with reference to polite standards; social comportment: That child has good manners.


I've written before about this, but will do so again as running around town Saturday with Cat gave me plenty of examples of rudeness to last awhile. I've noticed, especially in the upcoming generations, a lack of social skills having to do with politeness and concern for the fact that there are others in this world besides yourself. Ever see a group of Teens? They are armed with cellphones and stand around in groups that you believe that they know each other but yet they barely talk to each other yet text away to someone that isn't there. If friends of mine were constantly doing that we'd give them shit. Apparently this kind of rude behavior is "okay" with these kids.

Pause for your daily rant: What is it with texting anyway? Why the hell are people so fascinated with carrying on whole conversations via essentially instant messenger on a device that is a phone? You know, a phone??? A device invented by Alexander Graham Bell for one person in one place to communicate with another in a far away place without being in the same room. You know that device. These magical devices called cellular phones which allow you to speak to anyone, anywhere, at anytime (given you have a decent signal) by bouncing your voice off of a satellite in space. These people who can save themselves carpal tunnel syndrome by just dialing a series of numbers (or like my phone, just saying someone's name) and you can reach that person and....wait for it....HEAR THEIR VOICE!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! WOW!!!! AMAZING!!!! I understand a quick message like "be home late" or "meet you for drinks at 6" but whole conversations!?!?!?!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog entry:

As I was saying, before I went off on a tangent..mmmm nummy tangents...., for all it's vaunted "Southern Hospitality" (and I've been witness to that) there's alot of rude people out here. Actually in the US period (haven't been to too many other Countries to say the World....). Here's a few things I've noticed that are pet peeves of mine:

Line Etiquette: Or if you're British Cue Ettiquette. In a Grocery Store there are several lines to choose from and it is generally accepted that each register has it's own Line. You pick one (it's kind of a game....is that cashier quicker than that one? Is that Old Lady going to pay with a check that she hasn't even bothered to take out of her purse yet to write?) and get in it waiting your turn like a polite, civilized human being. At a restaurant, you cue up at the Host/Hostess station to give your name so you can be seated. Or if you have to pay at the register, you form one line and wait for the next available register. You don't, and this happens all the time at Cracker Barrel in my Town, decide that you are too special to stand behind everyone else and go to the open register at the far end of the bank of registers. I don't get this. A simple glance will tell you that there are several people waiting in line for the next register, but you oh entitled one feel that since there are several registers, there should be several lines. Even if that were the case, you don't get to go until the 8 other people waiting before you got there get to go. I could be an ass (NOOOOO....you Steve an Ass??? Say it ain't so???) and say something, but I would end up making a scene and embarassing my Wife. I couldn't help it. It would sound something like this; "Oh, is that your private register??? Because I didn't see your name on it. Don't let the simple f**king fact that there are about a dozen people standing over here waiting for the next available register dissuade you from being an rude, entitled Asshole. NOOO, please don't have an freaking consideration for your fellow man. By all means, cut in line Senior Asshat." Like I said, I'd embarrass her. They do this at the Hollywood video out here as well. There are a dozen folks in one line, then some asshat thinks they can start a line of their own. Umm, NO!!! Get your sorry ass behind everyone now. The Post Office has it down to a science. One word, Ropes. Isn't it funny how metal poles with faux-velvet padded chains formed into a maze-like configuration makes people observe good line etiquette? Seriously, it just shows how sheep-like we are. We can't form a line like civilized human beings without being shuttled like cattle through essentially chutes!!! It's very sad. We were in Sam's and they always have their free samples. Cat and I lined up to on the left side of the table where everyone else was lining up to wait our turn. These two Burly Mountain Women that weighed in at a combined weight of 700 or so pounds decided that they were going to start their own line on the right side of the table. WTF Fatty???? Did you feel that since your were some jumbo sized, manly looking beyatch that that somehow entitley your ponderous behind to jump in front of everyone!?!?!?!? I know better than to get between a lard ass and their food, especially cheescake, but Jesus!! Now what I don't understand, although it may have to do with what side of the vehicle you gas cap is on and people's not wanting to back in to a pump aisle, is the folks that sit in line waiting for their turn at the pump and there's at least one or two pumps open!!?!?!?! Now I feel bad just driving up and pulling up to the open pumps, but I reassure myself that if lazy ass would put it in reverse and take some effort and turn their wheel a bit they'd be pumping gas right now instead of me.

Cellphones: Remember those wonderful devices I spoke about a bit ago? With these devices comes more opportunities for rudeness. When in a restaurant, even a place like Denny's, Steak and Shake, etc, turn the damn thing on silent/vibrate. How hard is that? The other diners in the place do not want to hear your cool ring tone. It's rude. It's bad enough conversation levels get loud in someplaces, but to constantly hear a cornucopia of ring tones going off in the middle of it is just plain rude. If it should ring, excuse yourself and go outside or away from the table to take your call. Don't sit there and do this : (in a loud voice by the way) "Hey what's up? Yeah baby, can't wait to tap your hot ass later....you sexy bitch you...". Thanks Douchebag, I bet the "hot ass" on the other end would love to know that you just let everyone in Cracker Barrel know that you're having sex later. Thanks for the heads up, why that's information that I needed to know so badly. When you are in the theater, just turn the damn thing off. Nothing pisses me off more than paying 10 bucks to see a movie and it getting to an intense scene only to have it ruined by the glow of some entitled asshole's phone as he checks his email or texts someone. Look Dickhead, ye of the attention span of a flea. You aren't the only one that paid 10 bucks to see this movie, and most of us would actually like to watch and listen to THE FREAKING MOVIE and not be distracted by you ruining our dark vision by your glaring little electronic device. If the movie is that boring, get the Hell out and go get your money back. Or the assholes that actually talk on their phones during the film. I throw shit at them then get the manager. Or the self important schmucks who can't stop yakking on the damn thing for five minutes to eat their damn meal. Ever see this? We were in a restaurant and this jackass is talking on the phone the entire time he was there. Even while he was eating.......not talking to his waiter, just nodding when asked a question. This moron kept this up even while walking to the counter to pay!?!?!? C'mon folks. No one is impressed by your bluetooth headset and the fact that you have a cellphone...k? We all have them. Hell I have a bluetooth headset and I must say they are handy devices. There are times I've been shopping when I was talking with Cat on the phone, but told her I'd call her back when I got into line to pay. The one's that get me are the Mom's with their kids in the grocery store, yakking away on the phone whilst their children are running rampant. Get off the damn phone Mom and pay attention to your crotch spawn okay......spend some time with your damn kids. You can talk to whomever later!! Now if you have to take a call say in the grocery or whatever, get the Hell out of line and deal with it or tell that person you will call them back as soon as you are done paying. I've had morons hold up the line because they are so busy talking on the damn phone that they haven't scanned their card yet, or taken out their check book or what have you.

Conversations in Public: The bottom line of manners is "be aware of the other people around you". It takes a matter of minutes. If you are in a public place, watch your freaking language. There are families with children around and other folks that just don't like impolite speech. Don't be walking through the mall with your buds and loudly proclaim "Dude I hit her like the fist of a f**king angry God last night. Her titties were off the chain!!!!" Thanks pal. My 5 year old Grandson just heard everything you said and is now wondering why you are hitting some woman. Oh, and keep it to a conversational level please. Cat and I are usually separated by a few feet. We don't TALK LIKE THIS TO EACH OTHER WHILE IN TARGET EVEN WHEN IT GETS A BIT LOUD!!!!! She's right next to me, and I don't have to shout for her to hear me. Or while in a restaurant, keep it down. There are sometimes I get into Cracker Barrel or Red Robin and I SWEAR TO GOD IT'S THIS LOUD....AND IT GETS LOUDER BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE'S CONVERSATION IS COMPETING WITH EVERYONE ELSE'S. All it takes is one table full of loud morons to start the auditory assault on my auditory orafices. Hee hee I said orafices. You all have inside voices (except Moose; I don't think he has an inside voice honestly.), use them.

Now these are examples of everyday rudeness I encounter. Friday will be Shopping Friday. The Day After Thanksgiving which starts off the official Christmas Shopping season. That's when people get really rude. Ever been in line to get one of those "the first 500 customers get a free so and so"? Talk about rude assholes. Jeez!!!! They form a line outside the store, then as soon as the doors open, the push, tackle, shove and otherwise inflict bodily harm on anyone in there way!!!!! It's crazy, and good reason I don't go shopping on that day. I'd go postal, I really would.

Now alot of these situations can be remedied by the register staff/clerks, etc paying attention!! Which, when they are, works. I've seen people try and cut line before and the observant clerk saying, "excuse me, but this person was here before you. The line starts behind them." It's very rare now that you see a clerk give a damn....yeah I know, Dante and Randall of "Clerks" are the prime example of "Customer Service" today.

Just remember folks, just because you had to wait 5 seconds longer than I did doesn't mean the world is going to end. Or just because you think your cellphone and the amount of calls you get a day make you important and impressive doesn't mean that the world cares. Be observant. Use some freaking common sense. Be polite. If others were there before you, you aren't going to die because you had to wait on them.